Thief rips off man’s pinky while stealing his iPad
Chris Spags In the latest viral marketing plot for the iPad and/or fake pinky appendages, a Colorado man was robbed of his iPad by a couple of thieves. Unfortunately for the man, not only did he lose the iPad, which he was picking up for a coworker, but also his pinky.
Bill Jordan was leaving a local mall with an iPad he was picking up for a coworker when, in the parking lot, he felt two criminals tugging on his arm.
In his attempt to hold onto the bag, Jordan’s pinky got wrapped up in bag’s handle. As the thief yanked with all his body weight to pry the bag free, well, let’s leave it to Mr. Jordan to describe:
“[The man] was almost sitting on the ground he was pulling so hard and it was still tied around my fingers,” Jordan said.
“Then finally he gave it one big jerk, and that’s when he stripped the skin off my pinky,” he said.
The skin and tendons were ripped off of Jordan’s pinky. When he went to see a local doctor, he was told they had no way of saving the finger and, instead, would opt to amputate.
And let this be yet another lesson in my ever-evangelized mantra of “Never do a nice thing for anyone you’re not related to.” No offense, but if I were picking up an iPad for you and it ended with me losing an appendage, I would go back to the Apple Store, buy another iPad, and beat you over the head with it. If I wanted it to look like I’m getting a handy from Lisa Simpson every time I had to clean out the gutters, I’d have done it myself, thanks.
To think, of all the advancements in technology the iPad has, the “grow back a pinky” feature isn’t available until the iPad 3G comes out. The irony.
Crooks tear off Colorado man’s pinky to get hands on his iPad
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