Third grader gives heroin to classmates, has poor business model
Chris Spags Reports out of Wilkinsburg, Pa. this morning are saying that a local third grader was giving out bags of heroin to his school pals, sixty in total, before being found out by his teacher. I can only guess that was the most sullen, reflective recess ever.
According to the Associated Press, the 8-year-old brought the heroin to his Turner Elementary School classroom on Tuesday. Each baggy had a note from the little boy stamped on it saying, “Trust me.”
The kid’s punishment? The school sent a letter home to his parents.
Police found several empty bags in trash cans around the school but there was no evidence that any of the kids actually took any in. Plus, kids hate needles, so they’re probably all good.
Reports of faint sounds of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” playing in the bathroom as of yet unconfirmed.
Pa. police: 3rd grader gave heroin to classmates [Associated Press]
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