This guy must really love beer

I think we all enjoy the occasional frosty adult beverage. But perhaps not enough to commit a crime, like this guy who, after asking and receiving beer from a neighbor TWICE, went over to that same neighbor’s house when he went to work that day and stole all his remaining beer. Tap the rockies indeed.

A district judge ruled Monday that there is enough evidence for John Higginbotham, 55, to stand trial on charges he broke into an [acquaintance]’s home in East Rockhill and stole seven 16oz. cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Court records indicate the Kintnersville man stole the suds and nothing more. He broke glass on a door so he could he reach in and unlock the deadbolt to get inside during the October incident.

Higginbotham had gone to the victim’s home twice the day of the break asking for beer. The resident provided Higginbotham with some brews both times, but eventually warned the 55-year-old to stay away.

Higginbotham, however, returned to the home after the resident left for work, broke in and took more beer, police said.

Well, at least he wasn’t wasting his time on a venture that was less than worthwhile. If you’re going to get arrested and stand trial for a robbery, you want to make sure you’re stealing something quality. Whether it be diamonds or a bank’s money or a beer that tastes like reindeer urine such as Pabst Blue Ribbon, you’ve got to make your crimes count. I just worry for him as a repeat offender. How could you possibly top getting jail time for stealing seven cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon? Breaking in to Staples after hours and stealing two paper clips? Robbing a pet store of an albino rat and then giving it a loving, warm home? Who knows the depths of this man’s complete criminal mastermind..ery?

[Phillyburbs]

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