This is an actual love letter from a 3rd grader to a girl
Chris Spags According to this Reddit thread, this letter comes via a teacher confiscating a note being passed from one student to another. In it, a third grader named Aaron proclaims his love for a girl named Heather.
Kid’s a little dramatic for third grade (the fuck do you want to die over, kid? A mediocre episode of “Courage the Cowardly Dog”?), but he makes some good points. That said, he could probably use some help picking women; I don’t think a girl keeping your heart at the correct beat is anything noteworthy. A roast beef sandwich might keep your heart at the correct beat…doesn’t mean you’re in love with it.
Aaron, you’ve got your shit together better than most men three times your age. Aim higher than some girl who you met at church who’s moderately attractive and noteworthy for such things as “being fun” and “having weaknesses”. Or aim lower and shoot for “has two legs” and “can finish a sentence without slandering an ethnic group”. Either/or. But mediocrity is never the answer, li’l man.
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus