This is not a pleasant case of college coed nudity

Whenever I hear the term “sexy nude coeds,” I’m obviously intrigued. Imagine my disappointment reading this crime alert about an encounter involving a University of Missouri – St. Louis student with a rogue sexual assaulter in a story that has it all.

Click for full-size

I really hope they get this guy. I get annoyed when someone leans on me on a subway, I can’t imagine the rage I’d feel if someone had their johnson bobbing around on my flesh. I mean, it’s ever okay to rub your genitals on someone without their explicitly stated permission, but it’s so much worse to do it to a girl in the middle of a serious academic institution. Oh, wait, it was the University of Missouri, right? Carry on.

Just kidding Missouri. Anyway, if you see someone with his dong poking into you while he’s breathing heavily, per the Missouri-St. Louis campus police, make sure to tell the cops. You know, just in case you weren’t clear and were instead planning on high-fiving him. Though, man, giving him a high five after that would probably really screw with his head. So, either one works fine then.

So the University of Missouri – St. Louis just sent out this disturbing ‘sexual misconduct’ notification to everyone on campus. [PIC] [Reddit]

--- Did you like this article? And you probably like contests, exclusive content, and smug commentary right? Then why aren't you liking Guyism on Facebook? Show some pride and click the "Like" button below right now: