Apparently Zimbabwe is where you want to be if you’re looking for women in need of sex and don’t mind them forcing themselves upon you in a church. Seems like you’d probably be better off on Craigslist, but who am I to judge if you want to end up like this 18 year-old guy who got kidnapped and sexed by three women.

Real life kidnappers probably less sexy unless I’ve somehow turned dreams into reality
Three women kidnapped an 18-year-old man in Chitungwiza and forced him to be intimate with one of them at a cathedral in Harare’s city centre on Tuesday,
On Tuesday, the man’s employer sent him on an errand to Makoni Shopping Centre
As he made his way to the bustling shopping centre at around 3pm, a cream Toyota Corolla suddenly pulled beside him, three women got out and bundled him into the vehicle before driving to Harare’s Roman Catholic Cathedral along Fourth Street where they locked him in a room.
At around 8pm, one of the women returned and forced the man to be intimate with her, sources say.
Afterwards, it is alleged the daring woman phoned the wife of the man’s employer and told her that the victim was safe and they should not worry about his whereabouts.
It doesn’t really sound like there was a whole lot of a struggle on this guy’s part. While I’m sure that the type of gals who’d kidnap a man for sexual satisfaction would be up to snuff in most situations, this also sounds like a pretty convenient excuse for this dude to get out of work.
But if this is true, well, that’s about as courteous of a rape as you can have, I suppose. Not sure it’ll make the fetal position shower afterwards any smoother, but I wouldn’t be surprised if they made him a nice breakfast too. Nothing says, “Sorry about the rape” better than pancakes, bacon, and eggs in the shape of a smiley face with “Sowwyyyy” written in syrup.









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