Virginia man dressed like cow steals 26 gallons of milk from Wal-Mart

You’re 18 and in the bustling metropolis that is Stafford, Virginia. What’s your idea of a good time? Bars? Museums? No, it’s Wal-Mart, a place where you can dress like a cow and steal 26 gallons of milk.

Police say the unidentified man went into the Wal-Mart in a cow costume Tuesday night and left with the 26 gallons without any resistance.

Officers and employees were unclear how the man made out with 26 gallons of milk, though they did note that he exited the store crawling to emulate a cow.

Wal-Mart employees told local police that they saw the man “skipping down the sidewalk” after he had exited the store.

The milk thief was later apprehended when police found a man at a nearby McDonald’s who matched the thief’s description. Officers on site then found the cow costume in the man’s car.

While we at Guyism cannot advocate more cow-based crimes, at least this guy had a degree of whimsy to his stupid criminal caper. But it is still obviously a crime. I don’t feel too good about this guy’s chances if he’s sentenced to jail time. I imagine you don’t gain a lot of street cred for crimes that could have been the B plot line on an episode of “The Little Rascals” when in the hole with murderers and drug kingpins. Then again, who knows? Perhaps Cesar the Eye Eater has a love for slapstick comedy.

Stafford investigates udderly shocking shoplifting [Inside Nova via Fark]

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