Why aren’t we racing these tiny horses?

OK, this horse is named Einstein and he’s only 14 inches tall and weights 6 lbs. You’re looking at this video and probably thinking how cute and tiny this horse is. I’m looking at this video and asking myself, “Why aren’t we racing these things?”

Look, horse racing needs a new angle. “The Sport of Kings” hasn’t really had any pull in mainstream media since Secretariat died. So I’m thinking maybe they should give racing these babies a shot. Tiny Horse Racing could be a sport that the whole family could enjoy (and gamble heavily on). Think about a sport that takes so much preparation and real estate and then shrink it down to a smaller scale that would be easily manageable and could be held at the 1/4 mile track at your local YMCA.

Tiny horses racing other tiny horses; little legs pulling speeds that would make a normal human being possibly break a sweat. Betting tickets written on a size of paper that you would only find in fortune cookies. Tiny monkeys in tiny overalls, slapping the horses with McDonald’s straws and majestically riding them to victory. Then mini-wreaths made of tiny flowers would be put on the winner while his owners enjoyed one of those single-serving bottles of champagne…

I hope we can all agree something like this would be fun to watch and gamble on.

Three-day-old pinto stallion named Einstein [Daily Mail]



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Shawn Norris Shawn Norris used to write things for National Lampoon and the now-defunct Blue Monkey Disco Party as "Douche Larue." Now he spends most of his time writing jokes, scripts, and trying to find a literary agent that will return his calls. Even though he wasn’t born yet, he often takes credit for faking the moon landing. Also, he’s allergic to tequila -- it makes him breakout in felonies.

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