Woman arrested after assaulting another woman with bratwurst

The debilitating rage you can feel in the heat of battle can make you do crazy things. In the case of Des Moines, Iowa woman Tajuana Banks, that anger led her to hurt an old lady with an oversized sausage.

bratwurst on grill 309x202 Woman arrested after assaulting another woman with bratwurstAccording to police, the 31-year-old Banks went to the home of 63-year-old Connie Jones to discuss Jones’ treatment of her granddaughter.

Jones claims that Banks came in spewing profanities in an effort to start a physical altercation. Jones also alleged that Banks regularly attempts similar tacts to elicit a physical response from her.

Frustrated by Jones’ refusal to fight, Banks then threw a bratwurst at her chest, finally leading Jones to call police.

When police arrived, they found a greasy stain on Jones’ shirt and then arrested Banks on a charge of simple assault.

As police escorted her out, Banks said she’d do it again the next chance she gets.

Good for Connie Jones showing restraint. In my eyes, a bratwurst being thrown is nothing short of an act of war. I don’t know about you, but throwing a bratwurst at someone’s chest definitely doesn’t seem like a “simple” assault. Bratwurst is the “Fred Flintstone rib” of the meat encasing world. She might as well have dropped a piano on her head.

And Banks seems like a lunatic, but you’ve got to admire her dedication. One would think that being arrested for assault with a bratwurst would stop most people but not Tajuana Banks. She doesn’t even know how to spell surrender. Seriously. Probably thinks it starts with a “ñ”.

Police: Woman Assaulted With Bratwurst [KCCI]



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Chris Spags "Internet Heartthrob" Chris Spags is a former comic and the founding editor of Guyism.com. In addition to overseeing all Guyism content and business development, he covers Humor for the site daily. He was recognized on the street once and it was awesome.

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