There’s a certain art to being a shoplifter when you’re doing it right. A grace, even. But when you’re not artful, you may end up like this South Carolina woman who stole a sandwich from McDonald’s by shoving it down the front of her pants.
Employees at the local McDonald’s told police that the woman, Lori Turner, bought two sandwiches and two small coffees. The woman then took one of the sandwiches and shoved it into her pants, demanding that employees owed her a free one.
Turner allegedly got belligerent after the employees refused to give her another sandwich, leading to the employees calling 911.
Upon arrival, the deputy heard Turner screaming profanities at the workers. He then asked Turner to step outside and, when she did, he witnessed a large grease stain in the front of her pants. According to a WYFF report:
Turner denied having the sandwich until a female officer arrived to search her. The deputy said at that point, Turner pulled the sandwich out of her pants and put it on the hood of the police car.
Turner was charged with disorderly conduct and was refunded her money. One can only assume the sandwich took several showers in the McDonald’s sink afterwards, rubbing itself with a bun, rocking back and forth, and muttering “Still unclean. Still unclean.”
Deputies: Woman Shoved Sandwich In Her Pants [WYFF]









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