Woman only able to have sex outdoors due to phobia

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

It takes a lot of weird things to get off a significant portion of society. Foot fetishes, feeder fetishes, you name it, someone’s trying to beat off to it. But how about this story…a 24-year-old British girl who can’t enjoy sex indoors, forcing all her mates to go outside and boff.

The 24-year-old [Danielle Vincely] says her sexual claustrophobia ruins her love life as partners soon get tired of her adventurous sex demands on beaches and parks.

“Guys love it at first. They think it’s kinky making love under the stars in the woods, on beaches, park benches and car bonnets,” News of the World quoted her as saying.

“But after a while they get annoyed, especially if it’s raining, and dump me. Men like a quick romp inside on the bed but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Danielle has been suffering from the problem since the first time she had sex at 18, indoors with her first beau.

“Every time we tried was a disaster, until one day we had a drunken cuddle in the park and suddenly I felt amazing. I’d never had an orgasm before and the feeling of climaxing around Mother Nature was out of this world,” she added.

We’re all adults here…I’m sure most of you have engaged in adult relations outdoors. And she’s right, it is exciting at first. Well, it’s exciting in concept. It’s less exciting when you’re trying to get it on in a forest and you have branches in your back as Yogi Bear and Boo Boo watch and beat off. That’s the great con of outdoor sex. You expect a voyeuristic fantasy and instead end up with a chest cold and a sea turtle in your rectum.

Anyway, even if she were gorgeous (I can’t find a photo to support or deny this claim), I’d probably get a bit tired of her after a week or two. I can barely muster up the courage to put on condoms after a certain point of a relationship, fat chance at me putting on a poncho and wading boots in inclement weather.

The woman who can only have sex in open air! [Times of India]

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