Woman sodomizes and scalds male neighbor, says it was a “joke”

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

When you’re looking for a witty prank, you might get that can of springing snakes or the bubble gum the snaps on your finger or leaving out a fake blood test for your girlfriend. But clearly you’re not funny, like this woman in Maine was looking for a hilarious joke to play on a passed-out neighbor during a party…so she threw boiling water on him and sodomized him. Gotcha!

passed out drunk Woman sodomizes and scalds male neighbor, says it was a joke

On Nov. 28, [Laura] Smith and another tenant had a party attended by the victim during which a lot of liquor was served. “Sometime during the evening, [the victim] lost consciousness due to the alcohol he had consumed,” according to the police affidavit, written by Bangor police Detective Brent Beaulieu.

The victim woke up the next day with burns on his back, an injury to his abdomen, a broken ankle and internal injuries and was not sure how they happened, Beaulieu’s report states. While he is identified in the report, the Bangor Daily News does not typically disclose the names of crime victims.

An eyewitness, who lives in the First Street building and also attended the party, called police the day after the assault saying he was “still disturbed by what he witnessed,” court documents state.

“When [the witness] arrived … [the victim] was nude and laying on the floor, almost unconscious,” the affidavit states.

The victim was sodomized by Smith with a wooden dowel in front of the witness and “Laura laughed about it,” he reported to police.

The witness then stated Smith and the man hosting the party kicked the victim in his midsection and “at one point, Laura Smith began to heat water in the microwave. She then poured the water on [the victim’s] back,” the affidavit states. “She did this several times.”

Smith also admitted to police that she sodomized the victim, saying, “that she did this as a joke.”

During Smith’s first appearance in court, her lawyer classified said she suffered from “mild mental retardation and post-traumatic stress disorder,” but didn’t recall anything from the incident citing those factors and her overall drunkenness.

So, aside from the hospitalization and the fact that she perforated the guy’s bowel, causing his body to get infected, forcing him to undergo hospitalization and have to wear a colostomy bag…what an uproarious prank! This woman should get her own version of Punk’d. Each episode should be Smith going up to a hateable fringe celebrity like Jon Gosselin and introducing him to her hilarious brand of comedy. Boy will Jon Gosselin’s face be red when he finds out that he was kidnapped and had three of his fingers cut off as part of an edgy new prank show. “You sure got me,” he’ll say, pointing his finger stumps at the camera before he bleeds out. Does it get any funnier? I’d say no!

[Bangor Daily News]

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