Women rubbing baby parts on their faces to appear younger

The battle for women against age is a relatively unending one; studies show that time and time again, a youthful looking woman is more appreciated in society than a ravaged one. But how far will you go to keep your youthful looks? According to a new trend, the answer: Rubbing newborn baby placentas on your face.

Beauticians in Dubai are offering women a controversial product claimed to make them look younger — facial treatment made from newborn baby placenta.

The Australia Herald Sun reports that women are clamoring for the product as news of its benefits spreads.

“The main reason why human placenta is effective is because it is bio-identical to our own physiology,” British therapist Mona Mirza said. “Your own collagen starts to mimic the baby collagen and cells that are going in.”

Celebrities such as Simon Cowell, Victoria Beckham and Jennifer Lopez reportedly use placenta treatments, according to the Herald Sun.

Why stop at the placenta? Let’s just do like the Christopher Reeve episode of South Park in which he splits open unborn fetuses and sucks dry their healthful stem cells. I mean, it’s not like they’re going to need them. If anything, babies should be understanding of their sacrifice. It’s all “goo goo ga ga change my diaper” and whatever. How about you contribute to society a little, you shiftless lazy bastards. When’s the last time a baby has cleaned my gutters or kicked in for our school taxes? All I’m saying is that these babies are officially on notice. “First they came for the placentas and I didn’t speak up because I had no placentas. Then they came for the stem calls and I didn’t speak up because I had no stem cells… “

That said, Michael Jackson had a similar idea of rubbing kid parts on his face. Didn’t work out so well. Something to keep in mind.

[My Fox DC]

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