9 of the worst things about being drunk
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9 of the worst things about being drunk
Being drunk provides a great time for so many reasons, but what about its drawbacks? Some guys plow through inebriation with aplomb (probably because they're seasoned alcoholics), but for the rest of us, getting drunk is like an invitation for our idiot inner self to come out and wreak havoc. What do you hate about being drunk?
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9 The Impending Hangover
The more you drink, the longer you stave off that killer hangover. But on the other hand, the more you drink, the closer you get to that blood-alcohol level "sweet spot" that ends your life. The doom of the oncoming hangover is always in the back of your mind and like winter in Game of Thrones, you know it's coming.
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8 Eating Greasy Foods
Why does greasy food taste so goddamn good when you're drunk? My theory is that since being drunk impairs our judgment, increases impulsiveness and devolves us into highly emotional creatures, it's basically just turning us into children. Kids are well-known for their inability to control their impulses (like eating candy until they can't breathe), so as boozed up child-adults we choose to eat the nastiest, but most delicious greasy foods even though we know the next day they will literally be a pain in our ass.
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7 Having Sloppy, Stupid Sex
Sex can be a beautiful, graceful act that speaks volumes of your love for another human being...only not when you're drunk. No, when you and your lover are intoxicated it's a lot more like two bloated walruses Greco-Roman wrestling over a bucket of chum. Sexy.
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6 Not Being Able to Drive Anywhere
This sucks. When drunk, we want to be as mobile and free as possible, yet we're relegated to calling cabs, relying on friends, and worst of all, walking. We've all had that three mile march home from a bar because we couldn't get a ride and it is brutal.
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5 The Sober Person
God, sober people, why are you so annoyingly logical when I'm so awesomely drunk?
"Don't drink and drive!"
"Don't urinate on that police officer!"
"Don't consume your weight in maraschino cherries!"
Sobers are such party-poopers.
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4 Passing Out
You know the situation; You're hanging out having fun and then your friends begin to go all droopy-lid cross-eyed, yawning up a storm and within forty five minutes they're dropping off like flies, hitting the hay because their body gave up on consciousness altogether. Lame.
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3 Talking to Obnoxious People Who are Drunker Than You Are
Talking to anyone who's more inebriated than you are can go two ways; you can either laugh with (at) them and enjoy the ride, or be annoyed because they're stupid as hell and by association are making you feel as stupid as they are. Usually it's the latter.
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2 Saying Things You Mean(t)
So, you promised to help someone you met five minutes ago move into his new apartment tomorrow? Good move! You're totally going to commit to that when you wake up...
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1 Going to Shitty Bars
What happens when all your friends want to go to a shitty bar that you can't stand? You go along because that's where everyone is. You tried to stay away because the bathrooms are disgusting, the clientele are vapid, the drinks are overpriced and the bartenders are rude, entitled uptights, but you couldn't and now you'll have to live with that.
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