10 books people read on trains to look sophisticated
Zack Barangan
As you should know trains, buses, and other forms of public transportation are places where people with similar destinations sit and judge one another. Reading material (you know the stuff people pretend to look at instead of paying attention to the crazies on the train) is a category that draws particular attention from your fellow riders. The kind of literature one chooses to bring with them onto public transportation is, in our minds, the sole indicator of someone’s character. Don’t pretend you haven’t sneered at someone reading Danielle Steele in public. So because people are so judgmental, people taking public transportation are very cautious of what they’re seen reading. Here are 10 of the most ubiquitous books seen on trains and buses and what we think the reader is trying to say by carrying that book around. The phrase “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” need not apply here.
1 Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
Oh, geez Ayn Rand. She had some great ideas, but man those books are way too long. In Atlas Shrugged readers have to slough through a 70-page speech about individual achievement and enlightenment. This book is over 1000 pages long, so those that bring this one on the train are really going out of their way to say something here.
What they’re saying:
“Oh don’t worry about how heavy this book is, I’ve toned my arms in my advanced pilates class. I just love this story for its ideals. I’m re-reading if for the second time to hopefully get inspired about this brain trust/hedge fund/literary critiquing site I’m starting with my old roommate from Brown.”
2 Freakonomics by Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt
This book was actually relevant and intriguing, until everyone read it and started referencing the same chapters repeatedly. Yes, we know drug dealers operate in a franchise business model similar to McDonald’s, give us something new. We get it, people want to make believe that they understand economics but have don’t have long enough attention spans to read The Wealth of Nations.
What they’re saying:
“Don’t let the kooky hair or the odd-colored tie fool you. I’m studying to be everyone’s favorite adjunct professor. You like pop-culture? Maybe you can come to one of my meet-ups and discuss the effect of social networking on Midwestern farm hands.”
3 One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Magical realism is just another term for adult fairy tales. Those who lug along this classic are pretty much dreaming of a place where magical spells exist, true love waits, and they don’t have to take trains to go to office jobs. One Hundred Years, is a wonderful novel that has been a classic for years. It also happens to have like 30 characters with the name Buendia in it. Readers of the book are careful not to let people see them flip to the family tree diagram at the front of the book every five pages.
What they’re saying:
“I’m also reading Pablo Neruda, but the summer sun just seemed so transcendent last night that it reminded me of the magical town of Macondo. I had to take this one with me today. I think someone placed an insomnia curse on my apartment building, because I just can’t seem to sleep right this week!”
4 Omnivore’s Dilemma by Michael Pollan
There’s really nothing wrong about this new eating healthy trend. In fact, we here at Guyism support a healthy lifestyle. However, it’s one thing to be supportive and another to make sure that everyone around you knows how healthy your life is. At a certain point, you have to think that people reading this book want you to be impressed with their knowledge of food. No one likes a pontificate.
What they’re saying:
“Did you know reading for 15 minutes burns 20 calories? My Zumba teacher told me that this morning over soy lattes. Is that McDonald’s in your hand? Don’t you know they make their meat from the souls of baby cattle? Shame on you.”
5 The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
A wonderful book that accurately portrays the experiences of a first-generation Indian-American has become a mega hit due to the juggernaut known as Oprah’s Book Club and the movie where the main character was played by Kumar. The book is voraciously devoured by those that can relate to the events of the book and those who wish they could.
What they’re saying:
“Don’t be fooled by my corporate get-up, I’d rather be wearing a sari. Tonight I’m trying my hand at South Asian cooking. Hopefully my roommates won’t mind the aromatic flavors wafting through our apartment. Where am I from? Well, Long Island–but I can really identify with the plight of the Sri Lankans.”
6 The Road by Cormac McCarthy
It’s really surprising how many people read this book, given its really depressing themes. A chronicle of a man and his young son’s journey through a post-apocalypse world, The Road is a raw, painful book to read. Most people reading this will (hopefully) never know such pain and suffering. Basically, reading this book is a nice quick way to feel better about your life.
What they’re saying:
“Gosh, this is just so so horrible. I don’t know what I would do if I were put in the dad’s situation, with his son starving like that. That reminds me, I have to confirm dinner reservations at that new sushi place down on Park. I’m so hungry all of the sudden!”
7 The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
The darling of the literary world a few years ago, this book followed the adventures of an overweight Dominican boy. A moving tale of determination and adolescence, Oscar Wao has become a hit. What’s interesting to note is that the book contains so many references to comic books and the realm of science-fiction/fantasy that most readers would be downright lost if they’re not at least a semi-nerd.
What they’re saying:
“Yeah, I mean, I used to read comic books and was a little bit overweight. So I can totally relate to this Oscar Wao guy. X-Men? Is that still a thing? Oh haha! A Lord of the Rings reference. I loved those movies!”
8 Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond
Along with the onslaught of memoirs, history/sociology books have helped the non-fiction genre explode into the literary craze of the moment. Guns, Germs, and Steel while really interesting, is also really freaking dense. In fact, kudos to those who can make it through a chapter of this book without dozing off like it was fifth period AP European History.
What they’re saying:
“You know, I really see the parallels between our own society and that of the Ixcateco Indians of Mexico. I mean it’s clear from our traditional garb isn’t it?”
9 Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Due to it’s immense size, this book usually ends up festering in most people’s to-read lists, but since the author just passed away, masses of people can be seen reading this book. The book is a real challenge to get through, with its postmodern style and sentences ruling the pages. It also seems like it’d be really difficult to have enough concentration to read this book on the train.
What they’re saying:
“I think that the esoteric style that this book is written in is indicative of Wallace’s reliance on absurd literary tropes to move his piece along. Although I think that it’s worth exploring the author’s relationship with the pop-culture sphere as he references it quite often. Is anyone listening to me?”
10 The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson
This book perhaps single-handedly turned European mysteries into the new “it” literary genre. It’s twisting and turning plot and exotic hard-to-pronounce Swedish names, have taken a hold of reader’s attention. Being seen reading this book on the train makes people smile and nod at you knowingly, it’s like being part of a secret club. Take that Dan Brown.
What they’re saying:
“Man, I really feel like taking down a big corporation with my investigating skills now. All I need is a punk rock detective to help me out. Anyone on this train available? Anyone?”
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