4 things you should never wear again after college

Listen, I know it may be comfortable. I know it may be nostalgic. But there are just some things you should leave in college, never (well, almost never) to resurface in your everyday wardrobe again.

1. More than two polos at once - I was going to write collars at first, but then I realized that I wear two collars a bunch when employing the whole “shirt jacket” idea (more on that later). When it comes to polos, wearing more than one puts you in elite douchebag status. It’s a fratty move that I used to do all the time. I look back at those pictures now and cringe. There’s no place for multiple polos (especially with popped collars) in this world. So, leave that in college.

Correction: You will never be cool with a popped collar.

2. Fraternity Letter shirt (with exceptions) – Full disclosure: I was in Sigma Pi in college. I loved Fraternity life. But once I graduated, I retired my letter shirts and other Fraternity apparel. Why? Because I’m not an active brother anymore. I willed down a bunch of my stuff (rush, letter, homecoming et al., shirts) to the newest members of my family and called it a day. I saved a couple shirts for the times I hit up rushes as “that old guy,” but other than that I never wear them. I would even advise against wearing them at the gym. It gives off the impression to the ladies you’re still stuck in college. Take a step towards becoming a man, not a dude still stuck in his senior year at University.

3. Pajama pants outside of your home – This was fine when you rolled out of bed in College for that 8 am class, not cool when you’re going to the gym or for any other early morning errand. Seriously. Stop it. Throw on a pair of jeans, for God’s sake.

4. Board shorts as day wear – Is it over 75 degrees Fahrenheit? Are you going to the beach? Are you about to jump in the pool? If you answer “No” to at least 2 out of the 3 of these questions, then you should not be wearing board shorts as every day wear. They’re called board shorts because dudes who surf wear them. At the beach. See where I’m going with this? The gym is also not the proper place for board shorts. Unless they have a wave pool, don’t do it. Wear some Umbros or other athletic shorts. I swear it won’t kill you.

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