6 guys with jobs that would kill the average person
Shawn Norris
Most of us get up and go to work everyday with almost no imminent danger to speak of. Same boring routine, same boring tie, to the same boring job. You may hate the routine, but it could be much worse. You could be employed by a trade where death or serious injury are always lurking around the corner. Now the people on this list aren’t necessarily working in the world’s most dangerous professions; however, you wouldn’t be able to just wake up tomorrow and do what they do without being killed or seriously injured in the process. And even with the proper training, chances are you still won’t be sitting at a bar, complaining about your day at work with these guys anytime soon.
1 Laird Hamilton
On land, Laird Hamilton may be mortal, but when he’s out on the ocean he’s a god. Most men would quiver at the mere sight of a 35 ft wave, but Hamilton regularly rides them with relative ease. When the thrill of riding the monster break at North Shore dissipated, he decided to take surfing to a level that would make the men who quivered at the sight of a 35 ft wave defecate in their swim trunks. Deciding that “big wave surfing” just wasn’t dangerous enough, Hamilton co-created the sport of tow-in surfing; doubling up on the size of the waves to a yacht crushing 70 ft. You fall surfing that wave and you’ll go from seeing the whitewash to seeing the white light.
2 Alaskan Crab Fisherman
You think your job has a few pitfalls? Try being an Alaskan Crab fisherman. You could have your hand eaten by the bait chopper; you could fall overboard or get your leg caught when launching a pot and be pulled to the Davy Jones’ Locker; you could freeze to death with temperatures reaching well into the negatives; or your boat could just capsize and sink. It’s seems almost impossible not to be injured while working on a crab boat. All made worse by the fact that these fisherman could work straight through shifts that could last for days; amplifying any mistakes and making the possibility of death that much more likely. You could make a serious case that these guys probably work longer hours than any other profession and under some of the worst conditions possible.
3 Travis Pastrana
There is a saying, “There are two types of motorcycle riders: Those who have been in accidents and those who will be in accidents.” While that may not be entirely true, chances are if you ride a motorcycle like Pastrana does, that statement is entirely true and then some. A legend of motocross, Pastrana has been apart of some of the sickest stunts ever attempted on a motorcycle. He’s also been in some of the most epic, near-death crashes that motocross has ever seen. Over 10 concussions, enough knee injuries to make Robert Parrish blush, multiple blood transfusions, three days spent basically in a coma– dude dislocated his freaking spine! You want to ride with the big boys, you learn to take your bumps like the big boys. Chances are you’re not, nor never will be at this dude’s level. Ride accordingly.
4 Bear Grylls
Sure, everything he does may not be completely “real” per se, but for the most part, the stuff this guy does would kill a normal person. Most people who were dropped fully clothed into the ocean, two miles from shore, would drown. Ditto for most of the unnecessary risks that this guy takes while he’s in the wild. Plus, he eats EVERYTHING. Eats snakes raw, huge larva, a Yak’s eye, and yes, he once squeezed the water our of elephant dung so he wouldn’t dehydrate in Africa. And then when that wasn’t graphic enough, he gave himself an enema while stuck in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Chances are a normal person wouldn’t be able to hold down most of the nutrition this guy gets out in the wilderness; therefore you would starve to death if you were in his situation. I once almost starved to death when I got lost at Six Flags. I’m not saying this guy is completely legit on all counts, but most folks put in his position would end up in a whole lot of trouble out in the wilderness– even with a camera crew and medical personnel following them around.
5 Reinhold Messner
The badassest of all the mountain climbers; this guy raised the bar on mountain climbing all the way to the top of Everest…with no oxygen…alone. That’s right, he climbed the tallest mountain in the world by himself. He was also the first person to climb all fourteen “eight-thousanders,” which is to say that every mountain peak that’s over 8000 meters above sea level…this guy has kicked it’s ass. There are so many ways to get hurt or die on the side of a snow covered mountain that it hurts your lungs just thinking about it (yeah, frostbite of the lungs would suck). This guy is so awesome that Ben Folds Five named an entire album after him. How many other mountain climbers have that distinction? Zero. Which is probably the same number of people reading this article who will ever scale Everest sans bottled oxygen.
6 Navy Explosive Ordinance Disposal
I only bring this up because I have a buddy who does this. Not only does he have the pleasure of people shooting at him during work, he also gets the excitement of disarming any explosive devices he finds while out in the field. And did I mention that he has to be able to do this on land and while under water? So getting blown up and drowning (probably two of the scariest ways of dying) are two things he faces every single day while on tour. Which wire do you cut? A good portion of those of us not in the military don’t know. And that’s why this particular job and most other military jobs would end up getting a normal person very hurt or worse…God bless the folks that keep me from having to disarm bombs myself.
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