7 douchebags on TV that we love to watch
Shawn Norris
There are a lot of shows with characters that we don’t enjoy for one reason or another. Maybe they are a bit too misogynistic, or they are too arrogant, or in some cases we don’t know why but something about them just rubs us the wrong way. These are not those characters. These characters have all of the qualities of people we’d want to punch in the face in real life, but for some reason love to watch on television. These are the douchebags on TV that we just can’t seem to get enough of.
7 Barney Stinson – How I Met Your Mother
He is as vain as they come. He dresses specifically to impress, he’s conniving, can be borderline evil at times, has a gambling problem and generally treats women like pawns in a giant game of chess. He uses and abuses people and would throw his own grandmother under the bus at the slightest chance that he’d go home with the hottest girl at the bar. And yet, a lot of men kinda want to be him or already have a little of him in their heart. He’s like the anti-Tyler Durden; the polar opposite in most ways — and somehow he’s still free in all the ways we aren’t. And maybe that’s the reason we still like him so much. If he said, “Suit up, because tonight will be legendary!” We would and it would.
6 Dr. House – House
House is probably the most narcissistic character to ever grace the small screen. He is smug, arrogant, angry and belittles everyone he meets (both personally and professionally). He is smarter and more capable than every other doctor that he meets and he certainly lets them know it by being condescending in every conceivable way. His patients hate him, his fellow doctors can barely stand him and he treats his best friend like some sort of psychological experiment. People come secondary to his own whims, ego and pill addiction. Yet, if this was real life and it came down to it, you‘d want Dr. House diagnosing your symptoms. His bedside manner leaves something to be desired, but his results speak for themselves and we find ourselves mumbling, even laughing to ourselves at what a royal pain in the ass this guy is week in and week out.
5 Larry David – Curb Your Enthusiasm
Larry is a product of poor timing and severe neurosis. He’s not really a horrible person, but somehow he’s a horrible person. He only thinks about himself, he gets squirmy when asked to do something he doesn’t want to and if you ask him for a favor he’s gonna screw the pooch every single time. As soon as Larry gets the chance to over think a situation it spirals out of control and into territory so awkward that you didn’t even know that level of uncomfortableness even existed. L.D. has stolen the driver out of a dead man’s coffin, picked up a hooker for the sole purpose of using the carpool lane, invites a sex offender to Passover dinner, and accuses his bookie of eating his agent’s dog. David isn’t purposely a douchebag, but somehow he always finds a way to be. It’s like watching a savant of douchebaggery and for that reason we find a way to empathize and laugh at him — especially when karma gives him the raw end of the deal.
4 Jack Donaghy – 30 Rock
Jack Donaghy is the Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric and will find any excuse to tell you that. Everything about Jack screams douchebag; from his low contemptuous voice to his perfectly coiffed hair to his impeccable fashion sense that is both powerful and haughty. Everything in his life (friends, co-workers, relationships) takes a backseat to what is best for the business. Jack brags about high-class parties, outdoor sex, and dating two women at the same time. Undeniably the biggest misogynist that has ever put on a three-piece suit–he will lie, cheat and intentionally misguide in order to get whatever it is he wants or needs to get done. Yet we still watch because deep down we know behind his insolent facade is a man who in his own way cares about the people around him. Even if he shows it in ways like the video below.
3 Ari Gold – Entourage
Ari Gold is the best agent in Los Angeles and he certainly plays that part (for better or worse) to perfection. He’s overtly bold, contemptuous and conniving on a level that would even make people completely devoid of feeling sick to their stomachs. Ari treats everyone who can make him money like a god and everyone who can’t like s**t. He cares about money, status and everything else in his life seems like it is simply there to help facilitate his need for money and status. Mostly Ari screams and yells and makes everyone around him feel like the least important person of the face of the Earth, but if you needed an agent that would lay it all out on the line for you then you would want Ari Gold on your side. Hug it out…
2 Dennis Reynolds – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Dennis Reynolds is the perfect example of a person with delusions of grandeur. He owns a crappy bar that barely makes any money and has only three friends in the entire world yet he lives in a fantasy world of women, money and power. Most days he just boozes, schemes, treats his sister like a third-rate citizen or in some cases, he just smokes crack. We’ve seen him teabag a homeless man whose life he had personally helped destroy. In another episode he and his best friend hunted that same man for no other reason than they could. And in yet another, he impersonates a police officer in order to get free hot dogs. Why do we watch him? I guess for no other reason than there is probably no way anyone could ever be less empathetic and ego-driven than the alcoholic cradle robber that is Dennis Reynolds. And in a strange way that makes us feel a little better about ourselves.
1 Eric Cartman – South Park
Even in cartoon form, Eric Cartman is the epitome of bad taste and soullessness. This fourth grader thinks like a Nazi, acts as if there are no repercussions for anything he does, and has a mouth that would make a Tijuana hooker blush. Cartman is by far the most politically incorrect person to ever grace our television sets. He screams racial hate speech every chance he gets, thinks only for himself, gets physical with anyone that stands in his way and would beg, borrow, steal and even kill to prove his point. Seriously, you guys, when it comes to douchebags, there is a category made specifically for Eric and then way off in the distance is everyone else. Why do we watch him? Because anything is possible with him and no joke is off-limits. And when or if we get offended, we remember it’s just a cartoon and it seems a bit silly to take something so ridiculous seriously.
And maybe that’s the reason we enjoy our TV douchebags so much.
follow guyism:
Other Stories You Might LIke
What TV shows we should watch tonight
Upfront updates: What TV shows are cancelled, what are coming back
‘Community,’ ’30 Rock,’ ‘Parks & Rec’ all getting mini final seasons
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus