Single Page View

7 signs that you’re officially a stoner

7 signs that you’re officially a stoner

  • 7 signs that you’re officially a stoner

    Signs Youre a Stoner

    PabloEvans, Flickr

    It’s time to stereotype! But seriously: for those who have had a number of encounters with token tokers (or for those who happen to fit the bill) you know that not all potheads are deflated bodies melting on their parents’ couch or dreadlock-donning college dropouts. Stoners come in all different forms — they’re just like us. However, there are a few characteristics a true stoner possesses.

    Photo credit: PabloEvans, Flickr -Caitlin Thornton

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 7 You Consider Taco Bell a Food Group

    Taco Bell

    BLW Photography, Flickr

    So what if it’s pseudo-Mexican grub? The craving for the chain “restaurant” will forever linger on your taste buds. Even if you commonly spout praises for eating local, organic, or meat-free, you make exceptions for this special genre of fast food. You’ve consciously made the decision to block out the memory of your roommate discovering a cockroach in his Taco Bell takeout sack — it’s just that deliciously satisfying. And he was kind of a bastard anyway. (Oh yeah, you also believe in karma.)

    Photo credit: BLW Photography, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 6 You’re Considering Moving to California or Colorado

    Weed Sign

    Neeta Lind, Flickr

    Assuming you’re not already a resident, you know the relocation out west will eventually be in your cards. It’s not just the dispensaries. No, no. That was just a consequence of the awesomeness you know these states already inherently possess. Surfing, skiing, amazing dope that comes cutely packaged in translucent green prescription bottles — these places have been calling your name since you walked across the stage at college graduation, genuinely confused as to how you received honors’ status when you knew you went to every lecture high.

    Photo credit: Neeta Lind, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 5 You Wear Pajama Bottoms and/or Slippers in Public

    Pajama Bottoms

    CPX Interactive, Flickr

    Fuck fussy zippers and buttons. Comfort is your prime objective when you have to get dressed (though you may or may not have weighed the benefits of living in a nude colony). You’ve figured out ways to class-up sheepskin-lined moccasins and drawstring sweatpants. You swear you started the beard/scruffy face trend.

    Photo credit: CPX Interactive, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 4 You Budget Out Your Weed for the Month

    Budget

    Tax Credits, Flickr

    Like groceries or Taco Bell, weed is just a necessary expense. You’re also saving up for a volcano.

    Photo credit: Tax Credits, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 3 You Own More Paraphernalia Than Kitchen Utensils

    marijuana bong

    miggslives, Flickr

    When others are carelessly swiping their credit cards at clothing stores, you’re diligently probing the head shop clerk on potential new supplies. Your last girlfriend scoffed when she found out you spent more on your three-foot-bong than you did on her Christmas present. You knew your trusty new toy would never screw you over and try to give your best friend a blowjob though. If you’re lucky, you’ve also befriended a glass blower along your quest of stoner-dom.

    Photo credit: miggslives, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 2 You Share a Special Bond With Your Dealer

    Marijuana Shop

    shorty_nj_2000, Flickr

    He (or she) may have initially been some mysterious person you felt shady or uneasy around. Now the extended periods of time you’ve spent doing financial transactions or testing products together has resulted in a bond like no other — you know each other’s birthdays; he talks shit about other clients to you; you’re sort of secretly in love with his girlfriend. (She must have it made, huh?) You’ve volunteered to watch his dog while he jaunts around Amsterdam, a trip surely supported by his work.

    Photo credit: shorty_nj_2000, Flickr

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 1 You Brink Orgasm When You Confront a Beautiful Cannabis Plant

    Cannibas Plant

    The Equinest, Flickr

    When your friend in Philly decided to unveil their grow closet to you heavenly music is cued. You felt a deep pang of jealousy in your gut. You sense that tingling sensation commonly associated with pure love and affection when you see large amounts your smart, budgeting ass can probably never afford.

    Photo credit: The Equinest, Flickr

    (Previously published on January 21, 2011.)

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Next
Previous

comment on this story

blog comments powered by Disqus