7 summer fashion choices that men should probably avoid
Shawn Norris
I’m no fashion guru, nor do I claim to be. But I’ve been out and about around the country the past few years and I have seen some people that just really showed some odd taste and clothing choices. I’m all for personal expression and feeling comfortable in your own skin, but maybe, just maybe, if you find yourself wearing any of these items or combination of items, it’s time to take a long look in the mirror. If you still wanna rock them I understand. I’m just trying to make sure no one is laughing behind the backs of any of our readers here.
7 Crocs with socks
A lot of folks out there either love Crocs or hate them; the middle ground seems slim. Now a lot of people like to make fun of people wearing Crocs, but I am one of the people who are a bit ambivalent on the shoes(?). I don’t have a pair but I have tried them out and find them to be fairly comfortable. It’s a comfort vs. fashion argument; some value comfort over style when it comes to footwear that look like clogs, but I feel like when you start to wear socks with crocs…you just don’t care anymore. Sandals with socks is bad enough, but these babies with socks ages you by 20 years and even makes the flip-flop socks guys snicker when you walk by them.
6 Mesh tank tops
Now I’m not talking about basketball jerseys or workout apparel. Talking about those uber see-through tank tops that show a lot more male nipple than is necessary in any situation. It wouldn’t be that much of a problem if it wasn’t the big, hairy dudes that look like they’ve just come out of a cave after hibernation that always seemed to wear them. Saw a guy in one the other day and it looked like a gay werewolf fighting a Bigfoot over a gold necklace. That cannot be un-seen.
5 Flip-flops while playing sports
This isn’t a fashion thing, this is a safety thing. For a long time I was this moron. I would try and play touch football or basketball in a pair of flops and that lead to some not-so-fun foot injuries. Scrapes, bruises, deep gashes, ripped-off toenails (way painful), and I once almost lost a pinky toe in a wheelchair race (don’t ask). Not to mention getting them caught on the ground, causing you to eat a chunk of concrete. Running in flip-flops is just a bad idea. It’s best to have an extra pair of shoes in your trunk in case something comes up.
4 Cowboy boots and shorts
On women, this is kinda hot. On men, this is kinda goofy looking. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wearing cowboys boots. I can’t wear them because, well, I just don’t look cool in them. Obviously if you’re riding horses and roping cattle you can rock this look with no questions asked because it’s not a fashion statement, it’s a work thing. But if you aren’t an actual cowboy — having your spurs jangling across the floor while you walk around a bar in a pair of shorts looks ridiculous. John Wayne is puking in his grave picturing that scene.
3 Really tight leather pants
If you are a bonafide rock star then you can wear leather pants at any point and in any situation. But if it’s 100 degrees in the city and you are walking around in leather pants, you may want to check your options. Sure, you may feel and even look cool, but wouldn’t this be the most uncomfortable fashion statement possible in the summer? I mean you’d sweat and stick and chafe and rash and stick again…is it worth it? On top of that you’d being insanely hot in them. It’s gotta feel like your legs are on fire walking around in these in the heat of summer. It’s one thing to go masquerading around like Jim Morrison when the weather allows, but it’s a whole different story when you wake up the next day and feel like you spent the night straddling a furnace. There isn’t enough aloe in the whole world…
2 Cut-off jean shorts
Again, there is nothing fun about seeing 80% of a man’s hairy legs in any situation. If you want to shave your legs and try and rock this look… 60% of the time, it works none of the time. It’s just not a real good look for most men. Hell, old school Utah Jazz basketball shorts from the 80s even look better than sawed-off denim. Go John Stockton before you go Tobais Funke. Think about that before you pulls these shorts snugly to your waist and go out in public.
1 Speedos
No. It’s not a feeling of inadequacy here, it’s simply a favor to everyone at the local pool. Women can wear skimpy bikinis because their bodies are just naturally beautiful. They also wax, shave, trim and generally make sure they look good in skimpy bikini bottoms before going out in public in them. Look, you’re a man — I don’t need you to prove it to me. Men’s bodies are more utilitarian than women’s bodies, and nobody wants to see the tools you’re working with, chief. If you aren’t an Olympic swimmer you may just want to do everyone a favor and go with a regular swimsuit.
follow guyism:
Other Stories You Might LIke
7 times when it’s okay for a man to cry
9 things you need to stop sharing on Facebook
50 photos of people with bad tans
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus