
Bosses usually suck to some extent. They’re always driving fancy cars or telling you that faxing a picture of your butt to a co-worker is against company policy. That’s just crazy talk. Everybody loves getting an ass fax, regardless of local laws or threats of sexual harassment lawsuits.
I wish real bosses could be more like the ones I see on TV. While it may not be a feasible option to work for
“The Girlie Show” or “WKRP in Cincinnati”, it would be nice to see some real-life bosses take a few pages from their small screen brethren. Of course that is a ridiculous request and will never happen. Here are a few TV bosses that I think would be fun to work under.
Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock
Quote: “All of my summer replacement shows were big hits. America’s Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than a Dog, MILF Island.”
He’s a father figure. Poised, calm in the face of danger, rarely flustered and always has a story or clever anecdote. Jack always seems to be a few steps ahead of everyone, which is one of the first things you look for in a Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming. Never seems to be out of control, never gets angry and no matter how ridiculous or unexpected the situation is, he always has the answer. He’s like a silver haired General; marching his actors, writers and toaster ovens into battle against the network while simultaneously keeping them from any harm that stems from their incompetence. And while he always has his eye on the bottom-line, he seems to genuinely care for his employees’ well being. Suave, smart and perfect coifed hair…all the makings of a great boss and businessman.

Michael Scott of The Office
Quote: “Yes, I was the first one out. And yes, I’ve heard ‘women and children first’. But, we do not employ children. We are not a sweatshop, thankfully. And women are equal in the workplace by law. So if I let them out first, I have a lawsuit on my hands.”
Most of us have fairly boring desk jobs that we go to everyday. We get to work and start on files or projects that we feel like we’ve been working on our whole life. Everyday it’s the same. And that’s exactly why Michael Scott makes a great boss. Sure, his antics are bizarre, over the top and often self-centered, but that’s what breaks the tedium of the workweek. One day he’s making a YouTube video, another he’s taking the entire office ice skating and the next he’s threatening to kidnap the CEO’s son because of a canceled office party. Sure, you’re probably going to have to work late on some days, but every day would be a new adventure. Plus, you can just tell him you’re his friend and he’d never fire you. That’s job security and loyalty that you don’t just find most places these days.

Sam Malone from Cheers
Quote: “Woody, next time you order beer, be more specific than ‘lots.’”
Tending bar doesn’t sound like the sexiest job in the world, but Sam always made it look like fun. Since he was a former major league pitcher, you know that you’ll be able to watch baseball, maybe have a beer or two and talk baseball at work every night (which is what a lot of guys do after work anyway). And since Sam is a minor celebrity, you know some cool people you always wanted to meet will stop by the bar from time to time. All you do during shifts is pour a few beers for a fat guy and an alcoholic mailman. How hard could it be? And be honest, you want to work where everybody knows your name.

Buck Strickland of King of the Hill
Quote: “I can’t help it Hank; I’m psychically addicted to the good times!”
Buck seems like he’d be an acquired taste. He swears like a sailor and he‘s as flighty as any boss that may have tax problems and several warrants out for his arrest–but he’s a good time guy. He’s like a drunk uncle that buys you fireworks and says “Don’t tell your mom and dad.” Buck is the guy alone and past his prime that you sometimes see in strip-clubs, country clubs and back alley poker rooms, which seems to be the reason he always wants to bring someone with him to share in the fun. The nine to five workday would probably be pretty awful because you’d be tired and reek of propane when you finally got home. But you’d never be able to get home until Ol’ Buck takes you down to Juggstore Cowboys and buys you a few rounds of beer and lap dances.

Leo from That 70’s Show
Quote: “Just do what I do and steal money from the register when the boss ain’t looking.”
He doesn’t care what you do as long as you don’t burn down his Photo Hut. That’s his only rule at the Photo Hut. Even for the laziest employees that’s a pretty low bar. The guy is constantly stoned and that means you could probably even set the bar lower. If you don’t want to show up for work today…don’t. Better yet, tell him that you did, but he forgot because he was at one of his other stores or “too tired to remember.” Even if you just sit back and don’t do anything but listen to music and lock the door at night, he’s still gonna be ecstatic with your performance. And to top it all off, he always pays you in cash. Oh yeah, and you could get high with him at work too if that was something you’d be interested in…

Jimmy James from News Radio
Quote: “Dave, loosen up a little bit. A good boss has to loosen up now and again. Case in point: me. I’m half loaded right now.”
His gift as a boss was his enthusiastic nature. He comes into the office and is usually jovial and excited about something. An infectious enthusiasm is always the way to best of your employees, especially when you have as much free time as Jimmy seemingly does. He’s a smart man always looking over the shoulder of his employees and getting involved with day-to-day problems of the office. Usually that would be annoying, but everyone seems to love when Mr. James is around. He’s also generous with his ideas, his business acumen and sound advice. That’s what makes him a “Capitalist Lion Tamer.”

Robin Masters from Magnum P.I.
Quote: A man with this much doesn’t need to say anything. I’ll take the job.
So, first of all, this guy is never there; he only telecommutes. He lives on a beachfront house in Hawaii that’s equipped with tennis courts, a wine cellar, and owns a sweet Ferrari. And if you work there, all these amenities are at your disposal. You get a free place to live (your own guesthouse) and I never once saw Magnum pay for gasoline. Basically you get to live and work in paradise with no supervision and only a smarmy British housekeeper to deal with while working. Plus, Mr. Masters always has beautiful women coming in from all over the world to keep you company. Except for getting shot at, this is the perfect boss/job combo you could ever dream of.
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