9 crushes from TV history who didn’t deserve to be crushed on

Many of the most popular shows in television history have certain things in common. One of the more notable similarities is the storyline of the “less-than-cool” guy pining over a certain girl for years and years. However, the problem with a lot of these crushes is that, when you look back on them, most of these girls didn’t really deserve that kind of devotion. Sure these guys were nerdy, but certainly they could’ve spent an extra minute or two looking around the room to find someone a little more worthy of obsessing over.

9 Kevin Arnold chasing Winnie Cooper (The Wonder Years)
Yeah, she may look pretty good now, but back then Winnie Cooper was nothing to pine over. She was a buck-toothed tomboy who, at times, resembled the Neverending Story turtle-mountain creature. This was the 60s…The era of Free Love. It’s just such a shame that Kevin wasted all of his free love on Winnie.

8 Jim Halpert chasing Pam Beesly (The Office)
When you work in close quarters with someone for hours and hours on a daily basis, you begin to forget what kind of options exist in the world outside. Simply put, Pam was plain. With her boring blouse, dull skirts, and hairdo straight out of a “low-flo showerhead” Seinfeld episode, she just wasn’t much to fantasize about. I guess when your only other office crush options are a fat woman, a boozer, an anal-retentive bitch, or a gossip queen without an off switch; you can’t really be all that picky.

7 Neil Goldman chasing Meg Griffin (Family Guy)
Don’t let her voice fool you. Sure she sounds insanely hot, but Meg is more Peter than Lois. And although incredibly dweeby, Neil seems to have a serious sarcastic wit and some male chauvinism to him, so he should be shallow enough to know that Meg isn’t worth his energy. He still has time to come to his senses, so we’re gonna have to see how this one plays out. Maybe an afternoon out with Quagmire will do the trick.

6 Dawson Leery chasing Jen Lindley (Dawson’s Creek)
Dawson Leery. You idiot. Katie Holmes is climbing into your bedroom window every night, yet you choose to spend all of your time crushing on the new blonde girl in town who kind of looks a little like a duck. And this was the “pre-Tom Cruise” Katie Holmes we’re talking about…the one that was cute, talented, and didn’t look like she had her soul completely sucked out of her. Meanwhile, Pacey was laughing at you as he happily banged his way through the entire supporting cast.

5 Doogie Howser chasing Wanda Plenn (Doogie Howser, M.D.)
Imagine you were a child genius. By the time you were a teenager, you were an incredibly intelligent and successful doctor with a comfortable six-figure income. Now imagine the kind of car you would drive and the kind of house you would live in. Impressive, right? Now imagine the kind of women you would date. None of them would be anywhere near as homely as Wanda Plenn. Come on, Doogie…where were your supermodels, actresses, and other ridiculously hot, yet superficial gold diggers?

4 Steve Urkel chasing Laura Winslow (Family Matters)
True, Steve Urkel was the King of All Dorks. He was a stereotype to the extreme. Still, that’s absolutely no reason to settle when choosing the woman of your dreams. Steve went through all the trouble of creating his alter ego, Stefan, so he could be more handsome, cool, and irresistible to women and in the end, he still chased after Laura Winslow! Laura had the uncanny ability of looking like she was 35 when she was only 15. The fact that Urkel actually ended up with Laura by the end of the series shows that he just wasn’t reaching high enough. It also shows that the show was on for way too long and that the writers ran out of any ideas that even resembled an interesting storyline.

3 Cory Matthews chasing Topanga Lawrence (Boy Meets World)
Topanga was first introduced into the Boy Meets World…uh, world, as an odd classmate that annoyed Cory. She was a spacey hippy with a ridiculous amount of hair and an annoying voice. Then she sprouted a serious pair of knockers (no complaints here), cut her hair, and suddenly that voice of hers magically became less annoying. Although at times she sort of resembled that female gremlin from Gremlins 2, Cory was able to look past how annoying she actually was and he didn’t stop until the girl was his. And what was the result of all this chasing? Well, with its lack of sex, their unrealistic high school relationship played out more like a ten year-old stale marriage and when Cory finally did actually marry Topanga, she got fat on him. So not cool.

2 George Michael Bluth chasing Maeby Funke (Arrested Development)
Let’s start with the fact that Maeby was George Michael’s cousin for a moment. That’s immediately minus five points on the crush meter. Throw in a little pudge and one too many freckles and suddenly she’s just not worth more than a few minutes of chasing… If George Michael was going to have a sick, twisted, incestuous crush, he should have been chasing after his aunt Lindsay who was played by Portia de Rossi. She’s married to Ellen Degeneres, so at least we know she’s attracted to teenage boys.

1 Screech chasing Lisa Turtle (Saved by the Bell)
How Screech could spend every single school day hanging out with Kelly Kapowski and still choose Lisa as the one he would spend every minute obsessing over completely blows my mind. Lisa wasn’t a bad looking girl, but standing between Kelly and the insanely leggy Jessie, she easily dropped to a two. And since she was pretty much always standing between Kelly and Jessie, she was pretty much always a two. After many years of chasing Lisa with no success, Screech eventually moved on to acting in home videos where he performed the “Dirty Sanchez” on a girl who was even less attractive. Not the greatest resumé there, buddy.

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