ThreeOlives

People always bitch and moan about how it sucks to grow up. Well, have a blast from the past with Three Olives Loopy, which tastes just like Fruit Loops.



Other interesting Three Olives flavors: Root Beer, Cake, S’Mores, Bubble Gum

AlaskaDistillery

It seems fitting for Alaska, who does nothing more than pump oil and catch fish, to create a vodka flavored with one of the two. I’m not going to lie, this sounds disgusting. They also make a hemp seed vodka if you don’t want the previous Canadian version.

Firebox

The problem with vodka is that it’s too cool and refreshing. Thankfully 100,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodka is here to crank up the heat. It’s the officially the hottest vodka in the world. Not even a Bloody Mary will make it tolerable.

Pinnacle

I may not spend much time at the circus since “the incident,” but that doesn’t mean I don’t still love cotton candy. Pinnacle has taken the liberty of putting that small piece of happiness into a bottle of vodka. To quote a wise man at a fictional softball game, “How’s the view from sugar heaven, bitch?”



Other interesting Pinnacle flavors: Gummy, Marshmallow, Pumpkin Pie, Cookie Dough

GSpirits

Typically the flavor is added to a vodka between distillation and bottling. In GSpirits’ case the addition comes later, when model and Playmate Evelin Aubert pours the vodka over her breasts. It’s then rebottled and sold to you. What do boobs taste like? If you have to ask, you can’t afford it.