Four Loko launches new products and website

Colin Joliat Staff Writer

Earlier this month, Phusion Projects, makers of Four Loko, agreed to package their products more responsibly. Apparently the FTC didn’t believe that consumers were intelligent enough to know that twice the alcohol content in a can twice the size leads to four times the alcohol. Well, Four Loko has made their adjustments and come back in a big way.

Four Loko Girl 127x214 Four Loko launches new products and websiteFour Loko rolled out a new website that shows off their newly designed products and a whole lot more. Supposedly they will offer a range of content for adults, not necessarily just alcohol related. As of now though, the site features one video (see below) and a few short clips but promises more news updates. It alsocontains recipes for things like Orange Crazy Wings and Lemonade Pound Cake, information about the company, merchandise, and a few other worthless things.

As for the products, all of them now contain 8% alcohol, essentially turning them into caffeine-free Diet Mountain Dew by taking away the main reasons people wanted them. They’ve launched “Poco Loko,” which is a 16 ounce version that comes in Mango, Black Cherry, Green Apple and Lemonade. They’ve also introduce 330 ml glass bottles in Fruit Punch, Watermelon, and Lemonade. How very trendy of them to not use the standard 12 ounce bottle. Then you have the old guard in the 23.5 ounce can. These are down to 8% ABV as well and are in the new resealable can. I couldn’t find any pictures demonstrating this new can technology, but I will assume it works just fine.

The video they shot seems to mock the idea that people were drinking their product and then going out and acting like idiots. I appreciate this because I’ve always thought the problem lay with the person drinking Four Loko, not the drink itself. Apparently they want to show off the fact that you can have a few of them without becoming violently ill…or dead.

 

 

It’s also clear from some of the headlines on the site that they are taking a comical approach to it, which fits in with their demographic. I’m not sure exactly how well that’s going to work out, but it’s better than nothing I suppose. Here are a few of their scrolling headlines that are sure to make you rush out and buy Four Loko close the window.

Officials investigate supermarket spill on aisle 4.
Beware: Campers encounter fire-bears.
Reports surface, Poko Loko steals shelve space across the country.
Floods of shoppers storm into Walmart in a Four Loko frenzy.
Thirsty Man, leaves wife for sexy glass bottle of Four Loko.
Progressive Adult Beverage, Four Loko, Wanted in 50 states.
Poco Loko proves that size doesn’t matter. It’s about how you use it.

Will you be trying any of their new products? I never liked the taste of Four Loko, but I’m willing to give them another shot sometime when no one’s looking. With only 8% alcohol, it reminds me of the Mike’s Hard Lemonade campaign to convince people thier product is manly. I’m sorry, but fruity malted beverages will never be manly, so I will be sipping mine alone in the corner with a swizzle straw.

Check it out at DrinkFour.

 

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