Horses ruin a perfectly good beer fountain

Colin Joliat Alcohol & Food Editor

Any decent city has at least a couple fountains spurting away for your visual enjoyment. In Portland, Skidmore Fountain was nearly full of beer instead of water thanks to Henry Weinhard.

Unfortunately the stupid horses had to go and ruin the giant beer fountain for everyone. They couldn’t be trusted not to get drunk and prance around the city like they were the queen of dressage, so instead we all get stuck throwing pennies into water instead of dipping mugs in beer. Yes, there may have been a few other issues, such as bums and drunk infants, but I’m going to turn a blind eye towards those potential pitfalls. It’s all Mr. Ed’s f’ing¬†fault.

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