I drink Fernet and I wanna drink more
Colin Joliat Many cities have their own drink that goes hand in hand with the town. The most prominent that comes to mind is Chicago’s obsession with Malort, which I’m not a fan of. I’ve just discovered that San Francisco has a similar obsession with a spirit named Fernet Branca.
Until recently I had never heard of Fernet. It was then presented to me as a digestif (liquor that aides in digestion), but it turns out it is so much more than that. It’s strong, bitter, doesn’t taste very good at first brush, and the only people that seem to care about it are in San Francisco and Argentina. It’s exactly the sort of thing I love trying. Is there are reason people like it, or are they all just being hipster? I guess that will be answered if there is a sharp drop in sales now that it has hit the mainstream world of Guyism.
While doing my due diligence I came across a few different ways in which people drink Fernet, and I decided that I’d try them all.
First up, as always, is a straight shot. It was room temperature and straight from the bottle. My initial reaction? “Wow, black licorice huh? I hate the f’ing black jelly beans!” I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t good. I think the best way to sum it up with this quote from a San Fran bartender:
Imagine Jagermeister without the sugar. You shoot it, immediately getting a strong hit of mouthwash – drying the mouth out, stinging the tongue. Its kind of like getting hit in the nose. Your brain hurts, your eyes sting and water, you cough a bit. Then, as soon as it begins a warm wave of relief washes over and you are left baptized in Italian herbals and golf ball eyed awake.
That’s almost exactly my experience. At first I was ready to call the whole thing off. After a few minutes though I glanced back over at my bar and felt incline to try it again. Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, or maybe that whole “baptized in Italian herbals” thing kicked in. In any event, I was heading back to the well. Another way I have heard of people drinking Fernet is a shot immediately followed by ginger ale, so that’s what I did.
Now we’re talkin’! I took a big whiff of the shot beforehand to prepare myself. I’m normally too cocky to chase a shot, but that’s what the doctor ordered, so that’s what I did. It worked perfectly. Unlike most chasers, the ginger ale enhanced the flavor as opposed to just washing it away. Something about the combination of spices worked perfectly together. I really wish I had done this one before the straight shot, but who could have known?
Next up is Argentinian style, which is apparently mixed with Coke. The first thing I noticed when drinking this was mint. The Listerine taste was diminished to just a minty fresh flavor that’s pretty enjoyable, assuming of course you like mint. The black licorice has also subsided a fair amount. This may not be as hardcore as ripping shots of syrupy warm liquor, but it’s definitely good.
And the last stop on my list is Fernet and coffee. I rarely dabble in any sort of Irish coffee, I’d prefer to either drink or not drink, but I do it for the readers. Unfortunately that also makes me not the best judge of taste in this case. I can tell you that the Listerine is back. Something about that though made me keep coming back to the mug faster than I normally would, and it was my 3rd cup of coffee in an hour, so it certainly wasn’t for the caffeine. I suppose you could say I enjoyed it more than your average joe. That was a horrible joke. I apologize. One huge upside here is that my breath smelled more like Tic Tacs thank it did coffee, and no one likes coffee breath.
When it’s all said and done, I’m glad I tried this. If I find myself in San Francisco I will certainly be ordering it at the bar, if for no other reason than to build camaraderie with the bartender and score free drinks. It’s strange how something that at first shot didn’t seem very good became pretty damn enjoyable. Rest assured I will be slamming a couple shots after Thanksgiving dinner to prep my stomach for continued eating and drinking. I’d highly recommend that you do the same. Maybe it’s time to give Malort another try too.
If you don’t buy the story of the cult following that Fernet has, check out this music video. It should effectively remove any doubts from your mind. Skip ahead to 1:15 to get the song rolling.
Talk about street cred. I’d like to point out that the guy who sang the hook for the song, Michael Marshall, also sang the hook in the original, “I Got 5 On It.” The lyrics are a great reference if you want to know more about the booze. I suppose you could also go to their website.
Update: Be careful, I still have that damn song in my head a day later.
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