The world’s greatest drinking song has arrived

Colin Joliat Staff Writer

Get ready to start your morning with the best drinking song since AC/DC’s “Have A Drink On Me.” Hailing from Indiana’s Tri-City area, David “The Gug” brings boozemusic to a whole new level with “Eenie Meenie Minie Moe.” I give you the drunkest rapper alive.

This is by far the best use of the phrase “eenie meenie minie mo” since 24k’s song “Don’t Go There.” It started out a little sketchy when he brought black face into the mix, but he seems to have black friends so maybe that’s OK. It is Indiana after all. My interest was piqued after the first chug, when he pulled a bottle of Jack out of the oven I was into it, and when he took a beer bong from a fake boob I was sold. This guy and this song are awesome.

His chugging skills are no joke either, as was frequently demonstrated in the video. I was busting out 2 second chugs on a daily basis in college and stealing money from every overconfident idiot I could. Unfortunately (fortunately if you’re are my liver or girlfriend) that ability has diminished significantly. I’d promise to get myself back to my drinking prime, but that’s just not something I’m willing to do.

Quite a few people have sent videos of themselves engaged in random drinking antics. I haven’t gotten around to posting most of them, but keep ‘em coming. You are a funny bunch of people that’s for damn sure, and I promise to start getting them posted on Guyism. If you happen to be a talented comedy rapper as well…let me know.

Lyrics with my favorite lines highlighted:

—1st Verse:
Its time to go, tie up your laces
there’s no room for 12′s cuz my trunks filled with cases
I’m headed to the bar on a mission to smash out
all the booze n beer in the bar until I crash out
I’m drinkin miller lites callin shots like a sergeant
fillin up cups like a breast enlargement
and its really really got my mind in a daze
I feel like Kyle Korver when im poppin trays
and I dont stop for days I go on three week binges
Hart Street n 30 boyyy, thats where the Eng is
your face cringes when I do my duties dandily
other beer chuggers, man you bitches couldnt handle me

—2nd Verse
I’m always scummy, always actin like a dummy
always buzzed cuz There’s always beer up in my tummy
I drink and let my mind fade away like Michael Jordan
I bet I got a beer up in my hand when I’m recording
I’m Irish and German, now that’s a deadly combo
I’m king kongin bongs like I was drinkin in a congo
gorilla warfare? shut up and gimme more beer
I drink so many bombs you’d think I’m bout to start a war here
two seconds or less, yea that boy so mystic
amazed for days, they call me super-cala-fraja-listic
don’t make me go ballistic
put a hundred on a chug but do you really wanna risk it?
let it be known my beers never get nursed (Nuh uh)
I gets the party started like december thirty-first (Uh huh)
so put away your cookies and gimme a beer for a snack
I’m like a catcher playin the field cuz I be throwin em back

—3rd Verse:
I do this for…Cavanaughs, Longshots, and White Rhino
Engine Room, Buddy n Pals, that’s where I go
Sticks n Suds, The Pub, Three Floyds, and Vino Tini
Northwoods, Woodhallow, hell yeah thats where you’ll see me
every day I get up, I know i’m gettin lit up
thanks to all my bartenders servin all that shit up
Kristin, Jo, Michelle, Teresa, Lisa, Jess, n Pam
servin up that shit that’ll hit cha like BAM
the sky’s my limit, I dont stop until I pass out
hauled so many kegs that i blew my fuckin back out
damn you blew your back out? yea, i need a backbrace
suckin on my beer like a nipple when it lacktates
still banned from Sheffields, awww bummer
over a bunch of stupid shit I did last summer
you can ban me from your bar i’ll still be sneakin in the back door
might be an alcoholic but at least I aint a crackwhore

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