Money for Men: 10 things to not be cheap about
Kevin Brink
“You get what you pay for” is a popular lesson that we are all taught at an early age. The truth of this lesson can be fiercely debated as sometimes a lower priced item can be just as good, or even better than a higher priced one. Still, here are 10 purchases that you should always avoid choosing the cheapest option.
10 Alcohol
Unless you like to kill your brain cells with a mixture of diesel fuel stolen from an out-of-commission Soviet submarine and fermented moldy potatoes, you might want to skip the stuff on the bottom shelf. Also, despite what the label on the bottle might say, the finest vodkas are not made near Chernobyl.
9 Toilet Paper
It turns out that this product serves a very important use in making sure that your hand does not actually touch your shit. Do you really want to entrust this important job to a one-ply store brand? Besides, soft toilet paper just feels better on your ass and just might impress any women you actually convince to visit your place.
8 Razors
I once had to resort to buying a razor at a dollar store while I was on vacation because I forgot to pack my own. After using it, my face was bleeding in 15 different places and it looked like it did when I was thirteen; smooth and full of red spots.
7 Canned Ravioli
Any type of canned meat is already not likely to be the highest of quality, but if you go there, stick with good old Chef Boyardee. The store brands are usually beyond gross and would not even make good dog food. Besides, we are only talking about spending $1.50 to get the very best culinary delight in a can.
6 Condoms
God only knows -— scratch that — any member of the Jersey Shore only knows no idea if a cheap condom will work as well as a more well-known brand. However, the bottom line is that some women are actually going to care what goes inside of them and will end your session if your condom has a picture of a donkey wearing a sombrero.
5 Mattresses
Since you use your mattresses more than any other item, you just might want to spend a little extra cash to buy a quality one. If you watch Oz or the Shawshank Redemption and become jealous of the quality of the inmates’ beds, you might want to consider investing a little more money in your next mattresses.
4 Paper Plates
My friend once had a fortune cookie that stated, “Confucius says: Buying cheap paper plates is a crime since you just end up using 3 or 4 each time.” We never went back there though since it was the only Chinese place in history that did not have a single Asian employee. But still, it was pretty good advice!
3 Umbrellas
Even the best umbrellas might have fallen victim to Hurricane Irene, but you should expect that one would be able to withstand a little wind and rain. Often, cheap umbrellas collapse and provide as much protection as the French Army.
2 Batteries
Yeah, it’s really not cool or a bargain for a pack of double A batteries to last for exactly 20 pictures in your digital camera.
1 Strip Clubs
While it may be true that your local establishment has no cover charge and puts coupons in the newspaper, you might want to ask yourself what kind of talent will you see? Let me tell you, in most cases, you will be glad that the joint is poorly lit and a haze of cigarette smoke obstructs your view of the stage.
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