Cloud Girlfriend for Facebook lets real people pretend to be your fake hot ladyfriend

“Cloud Girlfriend” is a new service for the Internet-savvy person who desperately needs the world to know they’re dating a hot person … without them actually dating a hot person.

That’s right — if you’re tired of the same old snuggle sessions with an inflatable ladyfriend but don’t actually want to go out and meet real women, but want your friends to think you met a real woman and somehow tricked her into liking you — Cloud Girlfriend is straight cash, homey.

From the site:

Step 1: Define your perfect girlfriend. Step 2: We bring her into existence. Step 3: Connect and interact with her publicly on your favorite social network Step 4: Enjoy a public long distance relationship with your perfect girl.

Per Business Insider, CG will “consist of a network of real human beings, not automated bots, that users will interact with over Facebook.”

According to founder David Fuhriman, having a not-real girlfriend on Facebook who talks about how hot you are and how amazing last night was could lead to people actually getting real girlfriends. And he’s probably right — nothing inspires love quite like a quick bout of jealousy.

That being said, Fuhriman could run into some problems. For starters, Facebook doesn’t allow fake people to get on the site. Trust me, they’ve deleted like 50 “Bob Loblaw” profiles. (What? You never wanted to be an attorney growing up?)

He does have a good counter-argument, though: DOGS AREN’T PEOPLE!

“There will always be more profiles of dogs and cats on social networks than there will ever be of Cloud Girlfriends,” Furhiman said.

Two more problems stand out to me, though.

One, if you have any friends that, on the off chance, you actually interact with in a real human setting, eventually they’re going to want to meet this hottie who’s sweating your mess online. When she’s “asleep at your place” for the 15th time or you “can’t afford a flight to bring her in town” for over a year, someone’s going to catch on.

And two: by using Cloud Girlfriend, there’s a 100-percent chance that you’re going to have to pull an Old Yeller on your self-esteem and drag it out behind your apartment complex and put it down forever.

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