Craftsman has a Bluetooth tool chest for some reason

If you are a gadget nerd, then you love hardware stores. These Dilbert strips really sum it up nicely, and yes, the force is so powerful it can strip your clothes off. So eventually, you will need a tool chest.

Apparently, Sears believes you will need a tool chest that wirelessly interfaces with your smartphone.

Here’s our first problem with the idea of a powered tool chest: you mean we have to plug this thing into a wall, now? Part of the appeal of owning a tool chest is pushing around a gigantic steel box on wheels full of everything you could possibly need to repair a car, or build furniture, or smash large household items into something that will more easily fit into a trash container. It’s portable, but not so portable your friends can borrow it for months; that’s what we like about it.

Secondly, did we really need a tool chest that essentially has a decent boom box built into it? The paint-smeared, semi-crappy boom box is kind of a workshop tradition. And syncing with our cell phones? We go into the basement or garage specifically to avoid humanity for a while, Sears. We don’t want people calling us while we’re busy refinishing something or reverse engineering IKEA furniture.

On the bright side, however, this thing has a power-tool battery charging station built right into it that also serves as a battery organizer, and apparently Sears is experimenting with different colors, not just fire-engine red, inspired by car paint jobs. Granted, most of these will be for total jackasses on reality shows, but the matte black one looks sweet. And, needless to say, it’s got the strength Craftsman is famous for: this baby is load-rated to, quite literally, a ton.

If this is for you, Sears will start selling them in 2012. Just…please don’t pimp it, OK? No airbrushing, no custom paint jobs, no boosting the sound systems. Some things should be sacred.

Craftsman Matte Black Toolchest [Notcot]

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