8 fast food items that will ensure you die of a heart attack
Fast food is an American way of life. And so are heart attacks and obesity, giving the U.S. of A. top bragging rights. We love to bash the fast food industry in films and books like Super Size Me and Fast Food Nation. However, at 3am after a night of throwing back two-for-one well drinks, nothing really sounds better than a greasy burger. Here are eight of the most deadly glutinous sins in the history of fast food debauchery, sure to put your heart down for the count.
Photo credit: Aranami, Flickr
8 Hardee’s Philly Cheese Steak Burger
You love a Philly steak sandwich, right? And a good cheeseburger, right? Well, the good people at Hardee’s have combined the two into a mutant hybrid that was once only found in the fantasies of Homer Simpson’s mind. A 1/3-lb Angus beef patty, layered with thinly sliced steak, topped off with two kinds of cheese, jalapenos and onions. Angioplasty not included.
7 KFC Famous Bowls
In this fast paced go, go, go world of today nobody really has the time to sit-down and eat a regular plate of food. Thankfully, Kentucky Fried Chicken came up with the KFC Bowl. A single bowl with an elegant blend of a biscuit, chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, cheese, and topped off with gravy. Otherwise known as a slop trough. Comedian Patton Oswalt, prefers to think of them as, “a failure pile in a sadness bowl.”
6 Burger King’s Stuffed Steakhouse Burger
Maybe you just found out your girlfriend’s not pregnant or your fantasy football team is totally dominating and it’s time to celebrate. A classy steakhouse would be great, but that’s expensive and you’ve got weed to buy. Not to worry, Burger King’s got you covered with their Goliath burger of an Angus beef patty, piled on with bacon, fried onions, cheese and mashed potatoes. And at only $4.99 your heart might take the hit, but your wallet certainly won’t.
5 Nathan’s Famous Chili Cheese Fries
Every Fourth of July, dozens of fat guys from across the land gather at Nathan’s Famous in Coney Island, NY for the annual hot dog eating contest — where they’re promptly put to shame by a skinny Japanese kid. Since 1916, Nathan’s has been the go-to for hot dogs, but it’s the chili cheese fries that will really have your heart begging for mercy. A mound of fries, topped with nacho cheese and chili. And weighing in at 1,600 calories it pulls no punches. Party on!
4 Hardee’s Monster Biscuit
Hardee’s just couldn’t stand not getting all the glory and makes a return to the list with their Monster Biscuit. Maybe you like ham biscuits, or sausage biscuits, or perhaps bacon, egg and cheese biscuits, but can never decide. Rejoice and thank the fast food gods, for they have heard your cries and come to the rescue. Rise and shine and get a start on the day with a sausage patty, bacon egg, ham, and cheese – oh yea, and it’s between a butter biscuit. Have a glass of orange juice on the side. You know, to be all healthy and stuff.
3 Cinnabon’s Pecanbon Roll
Satisfy your sweet tooth and ruthless addiction for sugar and pure butter with Cinnabon’s Pecanbon Roll. I mean, how could you not love a cinnamon bun topped with pecans and sweet caramel frosting?! If I could, I’d have that stuff directly injected into my veins. At 1,100 calories some might say it’s a tad on the unhealthy side. Word on the street is Burger King is in talks with Cinnabon to produce a Pecanbon bacon burger.
2 Craz-E Burger, Various Locations
A beef patty, cheese, bacon, and fried egg between two Krispy Kreme glazed donuts, this un-godly creation is normally met with a, “what the fuuuck” upon first sight. Some say it was invented by deceased R&B singer Luther Vandross, others claim it was concocted by a bar owner who ran out of burger buns. Normally, found at state fairs, independent eateries and Kirstie Alley’s kitchen it’s sure to give your heart a heavy ass-kicking. Finish off with a Pecanbon for a dessert.
1 Taco Bell’s Volcano Nachos
Legend has it that Taco Bell found the recipe for their Volcano Nachos from an ancient Aztec scroll written in virgin’s blood. Not really, but eating a 900 calorie plate of these bad boys is basically sacrificing your health. Tortilla chips, ground beef, jalapenos, nacho cheese, sour cream and pre-historic volcanic lava sauce will leave your stomach burning and you cursing yourself for not listening to that voice in your head that begged you just to get a soft taco. But then again, this is probably the same little voice that advises against that third Jager shot and never gets laid.