Busty mannequin gets more customers for BBQ place

Chris Spags Founder and Editor

I’m all for whatever can get you business in this difficult economy (my suggestion: Putting just a little bit of meth in all your food), but there’s something a bit unnerving about this Ohio BBQ restaurant putting up a particularly busty mannequin as a way of luring in new customers.

Now what gets me about this is two things…the loving way that the owner of the restaurant fixes the mannequin’s hair and bikini, leaving me to infer that he’s certainly had a night or two where he brought “Barbie” home and pretended like she was talking to him, saying things like, “Touch me, creepy old man. I long for you.” And also, why would any man go, “Man, that’s one sexy mannequin, I must try their food.” Like yes, the mannequin has lovely mannequin breasts, easily the most exquisite ones I’ve seen on a Fictional-American, but that’s not exactly going to make the pulled pork sliders any more delicious.

My guess: Secret cult that has mannequin bukkake sessions while eating the aforementioned pulled pork sliders. Which would be totally acceptable if she were real (who hasn’t had a good jerking and pulled pork sandwich), but COME ON.

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