Single Page View

8 disgusting foods that have no reason to exist

8 disgusting foods that have no reason to exist

  • 8 disgusting foods that have no reason to exist

    Wikimedia

    Food is an amazing thing because any type of food can be completely mouthwatering to one person and horrible to another. Except for pizza, everyone likes pizza. Here's a list of foods that have no business existing because they're so terrible they defy common sense, the laws of science and probably the ten commandments too. If you like any of these and find the need to convince me to like them too, then I'll expect a detailed comment in essay form explaining why. -Jason Epstein

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 8 Candy Buttons

    Wikimedia

    Some of the things I will mention ahead will shock and disgust you, but I still feel I have to mention candy, because candy is meant to be blissful and fun, satisfying your craving and bringing out your inner child at the same time. So, it's especially offensive to the palate and mind when you have to deal with shitty candy that should never have been invented in the first place...

    First up are candy buttons, an idiotic creation that involves the uncomfortable consumption of little candy pellets along with tiny bits of saliva-wet paper. I don't know about you, but like my bank statements, I prefer my candy paper-less.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 7 Good N Plenty

    Wikimedia

    Black licorice tastes like zombie chocolate and Good N Plentys are like big, ugly pills your doctor prescribes you for being an asshole. If you have to make any type of licorice candy then make it sweet, red and with the ability to use it as a straw like Twizzlers. Bad and Enoughs is the corny name I would give these if I had my way with the universe, though something tells me that wouldn't be very good for their marketing campaign.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 6 Necco Wafers

    Necco

    You can't have fun, be a kid or satisfy your sweet tooth when you're eating discs of ass-flavored chalk out of a wax paper roll. This is Halloween-ian blasphemy!

    Now it's time to move on from slightly more hardcore foods that won't satisfy your hunger because you're too busy vomiting at the thought of them...

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 5 Pigs Feet

    Wikimedia

    The pig has so many wonderful parts to it; the ribs, the loin, the shoulder, the butt....why eat the feet? I suppose the short answer would be that it's a tradition for some because in olden days the feet were a throwaway portion of the animal and the poor (who could not afford better sources of piggy protein) would find a way to eat it. But these things are uncommonly bad. Even if they're served up by an amazing chef, you'll still only have a few precious bites of meat before you hit a culinary wall of bone, gristle and general nastiness. Wait, aren't Skittles made out of the gelatin from these? I do love tasting the rainbow, so maybe pig's feet get a pass for that.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 4 Oysters

    Wikimedia

    If I wanted to eat something wet, filmy and slimy, I would eat boogers. If I wanted to eat something briny, grainy and fishy I would eat fish dicks. (That's a South Park reference, not an actual reference for fish penises, mind you.) If I wanted to eat something with all those charming attributes, only then would I eat an oyster. But I don't, so I won't.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 3 Tripe

    Wikimedia

    This is the organ that was used to create the horrifying "face huggers" in the movie Alien and I'm not even close to kidding. Can't you see it? And if you purchase this in an ethnic grocery store it looks like a fat, slimy organ with a thick, white honey-combed lunch lady hair net encasing it. This does not please me.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 2 Any Kind of Animal Penis

    Wikimedia

    This is another one that seems inexcusable. Why would you literally want to eat dick? I have heard things about tiger penises having certain therapeutic properties in Eastern medicine, but if I were in need of some therapy, I might just choose to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby. But that's just me.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.

  • 1 Casu Marzu

    Wikimedia

    This next one is not for the faint of heart:

    I love a good moldy blue-cheese as much as the next wing-lover, but there are some cheeses that overstep the bounds of nastiness in such an offensive manner that I could not be paid enough to ever try them. One such cheese, named Casu Marzu, is fermented far past the stage of most cheese with the aid of "cheese fly" larvae. This not only causes the cheese to become soft and runny, but also packs it full of dead maggots which are eaten with the cheese. You can tell that the cheese is ready to be eaten, by noting that there is silence instead of the noise of THE THOUSANDS OF INSECTS EATING AND DYING INSIDE OF IT. Excuse me while I go throw up, brush my teeth and then repeat the process thousands of times.

    Having problems viewing this? Click here to view this slideshow as one page.
Next
Previous

comment on this story

blog comments powered by Disqus