Jack in the Box now officially stoner friendly

Colin Joliat Alcohol & Food Editor

Jack in the Box has officially white-glove slapped Taco Bell and challenged them to a 4th meal duel.

The greatest documented weed meal was ordered by Jim Breuer in Half Baked, but Jack in the Box wants to simplify things for people. This new menu has “high” written all over it. The Munchie Meal consists of two tacos, a 50/50 split of regular and curly fries, a drink (Dr. Pepper, obviously), and one additional item from the super-stoned list.

Stacked Grilled Cheeseburger - Sourdough grilled cheese on top, cheeseburger on the bottom. Tuck into this tasty bunk bed

Exploding Cheesy Chicken - A Chicken Sandwich exploding with mozzarella cheese sticks and gooey white cheese sauce. Oh my cheesy goodness.

Loaded Nuggets - Chicken nuggets drowning in two kinds of cheese with ranch and bacon. Rescue them!

Brunch Burger - A burger with a fried egg and a crispy hash brown for when it’s so late you don’t know whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Those make KFC’s “Double Down” look downright reasonable. Gooey white sauce, drowning nuggets, and hash browns? They were definitely thinking of people under the influence of something stronger than hunger when they made that menu.

If I had a Jack in the Box near me, I would try everything on that list. Unfortunately the nearest one is over four hours away, plus the new menu is still just being tested in California. I’m not as dedicated as those douchebags who drove across the country for the Doritos Locos Taco, so it looks like I’ll have to starve. Unless of course there’s a commercial in it for me, then I’ll hop on my bike right now.

Get some sour cream and onion chips with some dip, man, some beef jerky, some peanut butter. Get some Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars, a whole lot, make sure chocolate, gotta have chocolate, man. Some popcorn, red popcorn, graham crackers, graham crackers with marshmallows, the little marshmallows and little chocolate bars and we can make s’mores, man. Also, celery, grape jelly, Cap’n Crunch with the little Crunch berries, pizzas. We need two big pizzas, man, everything on ‘em, with water, whole lotta water, and Funyons.

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