How to make Sloppy Drunk Joes
Sloppy Joes might be the ultimate comfort food, but whiskey works much better when I’m seeking to be comforted. That’s why I combined the two to make Sloppy Drunk Joes.
These are technically “Unsloppy Joes” because they’re in a pocket instead of loose on a bun. The first person to come up with the idea of putting a Sloppy Joe inside of a biscuit should be given the Congressional Medal of Honor. That person is truly a hero. Billy Madison might like his extra sloppy, but sometimes it’s just a pain in the ass.
It doesn’t take much to make a Sloppy Joe. It’s even easier if you just buy a can of sauce, but where’s the fun it that? Homemade tastes significantly better, and it’s not very complicated to do.
I used 101-proof Wild Turkey Rye because I wanted the spice from the rye instead of sweetness from a bourbon. 101-proof can be tough to find these days, but 81-proof will do just fine. I’d probably add a little more when cooking though because the flavor isn’t as intense.
My mix has more peppers and onion than are found in a typical Sloppy Joe because I’m more of a man than a typical guy named Joe. I started them off separately then combined once the meat was browned.
I know what you’re going to say. No, all the alcohol does not burn off when you cook it. Go put a pot of water on high heat. When it hits 212 degrees, let me know if all of the water instantly disappears. No? Still there? Weird.
To be less bitchy about your potential question, there will still be about 35% of the alcohol left after cooking. You can actually taste the whiskey, which is fantastic. For those who aren’t big fans of the brown spirit – I’m not sure why you’re reading this – there’s no longer burn to it. You’ll be fine.
Remember when you got yelled for playing with your food? That’s not going to happen here. Playing with your food is a must. Smash a biscuit into a 6-inch flat circle. Add meat. Add cheese. Make pocket. I found that lifting it up like a taco worked better than trying to fold one side over the other.
You can attempt to seal if off if by pinching the dough together where the two sides meet, but it will most likely split anyway. Just do your best. That’s all I ask.
14 long minutes later you have delicious flaky biscuits stuffed with the most intoxicating Sloppy Joe you’ll ever have. You won’t actually get drunk; I’m just assuming you haven’t had them with whiskey before. My apologies for doubting you if this is your standard practice.
Before you ask, no, I didn’t eat the entire pound of Sloppy Joe mix for lunch. I had about two-thirds of it. The rest is waiting to be baked into another batch of biscuits. This might be my new favorite recipe, just barely edging out the Grilled Drunken Shrimp Tacos.
- 1 pound ground beef
- 1/2 cup onion, chopped
- 1/4 cup green pepper, chopped
- 1/4 cup red pepper, chopped
- 3/4 cup ketchup
- 1/2 cup 101-proof Wild Turkey Rye
- 1 teaspoon prepared yellow mustard
- 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
- 1 tablespoon brown sugar
- salt/pepper to taste
- 1 can Grands biscuits
- 1/2 cup cheddard cheese
- In medium skillet, brown meat over medium heat.
- In another skillet, cook peppers and onions over medium heat.
- When ground beef is cooked, drain liquid and add peppers/onions
- Stir in ketchup, mustard, garlic powder, and brown sugar; mix thoroughly.
- Take shot of whiskey.
- Add Wild Turkey to skillet, mix thoroughly, reduce heat, and simmer for 25-30 minutes.
- Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- Take shot of whiskey.
- Flatten biscuit dough into 6-inch circles on ungreased cookie sheet.
- Add 1/3 cup meat, top with cheese, and fold into pocket.
- Bake for 14 minutes or until golden brown.
- Take stupid picture of food; post to Instagram.
- Eat Sloppy Drunk Joes while walking around your living room to show off new-found mobility.