How to make Spinach and Artichoke Crack Dip with Bacon

Colin Joliat Alcohol & Food Editor

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Colin Joliat

 

With Christmas, New Years, and Bowl Season all imminent, you might find yourself needing to bring a dip to a party. Don’t buy some mediocre premade slop when making your own Spinach and Artichoke Dip, with bacon of course, is absurdly easy. It’s not literally crack, but it’s close.

Most people have some sort of dip recipe that they refer to as “Crack Dip.” It’s doesn’t actually mean anything; it’s just a way of warning people that you might eat the entire thing and to not judge you for it. This is one of those dips for me.

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Colin Joliat

 

Most Spinach and Artichoke dips call for mayo and sour cream. I used Alfredo sauce because I play by my own rules, nobody else’s, not even my own. It’s actually a four cheese Alfredo sauce too because it had Emeril Legasse on the label, and I’m a sucker for celebrity endorsements.

You’ll see if you closely that I used grated Parmesan. Big mistake. I wanted to see if it made a difference, and it’s noticeably better with shredded Parmesan. I apologize to all of you who thought you were going to finally get rid of all those packets you have lying around from Domino’s.

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Colin Joliat

 

Gratuitous bacon shot! I’m leaving to go home for a week today, so I made an entire pack of bacon as to not waste it. About 8 strips made it into the dip while the other 8 were immediately turned into human fat. Totally worth it.

If you don’t have a bacon press, you need to reassess your culinary priorities.

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Colin Joliat

 

I wonder when the last time someone used frozen spinach for anything other than a dip is. I just can’t see cooking a big block of spinach for any reason.  That must be how you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

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Colin Joliat

 

Oh, shit, we’re already done? That really was easy, Colin. “You’re really funny, and you’re totally not fat.”

If you’re wondering how we got from point four to finished product, well, you should really learn how dips work. You mix everything in a dish, put it in the oven, and play Call of Duty for the next half hour. See how easy cooking is? Your mom really wasn’t slaving away in the kitchen all those hours. She was in the pantry crying because her son sucks.

This recipe comes from Food.com, but I added bacon because I’m a patriot. Your liver is lucky there wasn’t an logical way to add booze, or I would have done that too!

Ingredients:

  • 8 strips bacon
  • 1 (10 ounce) package frozen spinach (thawed and drained)
  • 1 (14 ounce) can artichoke hearts
  • 1 (10 ounce) jar alfredo sauce
  • 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
  • 1/3 cup shredded parmesan cheese
  • 4 ounces softened cream cheese
  • 1 teaspoon bottled garlic
  • tortilla chips, for scooping

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 350.
  2. Mix all ingredients in a baking dish.
  3. Think to yourself, really, that’s it?
  4. Bake, covered, for 30 minutes.
  5. Cook bacon until crispy.
  6. Chop bacon into small pieces.
  7. Mix into cooked spinach and artichoke dip
  8. Serve with Triscuits so nobody eats it.
  9. Consume entire dip by yourself.
  10. Laugh maniacally then cry like a bitch.

Check out more party pleasers from the Guyism Grill

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