10 of the funniest fictional drugs from TV and movies

Jeff Wysaski

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Hey, let’s face it: TV characters have their problems too. In an effort to relieve these problems (whether those problems be depression, constipation or boredom), plenty of TV shows and movies have introduced fictional drugs that deliver an added dosage of laughter to the plot-line. Below are ten pharmaceuticals featured in movies and TV that likely will never be available in the real world.

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10 Teamocil – Arrested Development
“There is no I in Teamocil, at least not where you think.” Teamocil is the most memorable drug endorsed by “Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution.” Sadly, Teamocil is no longer available. Please try either Groupug, Bondat or consult your own wellness guide.

9 Flintstones Chewable Morphine – The Simpsons
The Simpsons have featured a number of funny fictional drugs during the past twenty-something years. One of the funniest is Flintstones Chewable Morphine. The kid-friendly opiate appears in an episode that sees the fictional Osaka Flu ravaging Springfield. Bart, for obvious reasons, seems to think the drug will help fight the illness.

Other notable fictional drugs from The Simpsons include Focusyn, Nappien and Repressitol.

8 Vitameatavegamin – I Love Lucy
This fictional tonic plays an important role in one of the most memorable TV sitcom scenes of all time. Vitameatavegamin is advertised as a cure-all that includes a mixture of vitamins, meat, vegetables and minerals. However, it also contains 23 percent alcohol. When Lucy is hired to promote the product in a commercial, she gets increasingly drunk as the filming goes on.

7 Chemical X – The Powerpuff Girls
Oh, the Professor and his clumsy ways. Intent on creating “the perfect girl,” the Professor accidentally mixes in this mysterious drug with the obvious ingredients of sugar, spice and everything nice. As a result, his three perfect girls are “born” with a myriad of super powers. Take that, Fuzzy Lumpkins and Mojo Jojo!

6 E-Z Doze It Sleeping Pills – Looney Tunes
E-Z Doze It pills make an appearance in several Looney Tunes cartoons. Purportedly, the pills are so strong that the character who takes is so out of it that he or she might sleep through an invading tornado.

5 Homocil – Saturday Night Live
Homocil is a classic commercial parody from Saturday Night Live. Billed as a drug designed to reduce parental anxiety of a child’s homosexuality, the commercial explains, “You can’t control whatever he is or isn’t, but you can control how it affects you.”

4 Turbolax – Dumb and Dumber
Oh boy, if you like fart jokes, then Turbolax has a special place in your heart. As Lloyd explains, for those experiencing constipation, “1/2 a teaspoon, for fast, effective relief.” Unfortunately, poor Harry takes the drug before his important date, and ends up having an excessive bout of diarrhea on his love interest’s broken toilet.

3 Money – South Park
Can money really cure AIDS? According to Cartman, “I’m not just sure, I’m HIV positive.” Curious why Magic Johnson seems to live so comfortably with HIV, the boys eventually find out that his money serves as a neutralizer for the illness. Thanks to Magic’s doctors, he now has the ability to inject $180,000 directly into his bloodstream.

2 Riderall – It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
A clear play-on-words that combines real-world Ritalin and Adderall, Riderall makes an appearance in the episode that sees the gang entering a drinking competition. The drug results in Dennis becoming increasingly psyched up… with hilarious results.

1 Box of Kittens – Scrubs
Sadly, a box of kittens only serves as a viable treatment option in the mind of J.D. When he finds out that heart failure can be caused by depression, he wonders how you can possibly treat that. Cut to one of his famous internal fantasy scenes, which shows him dumping a box of kittens on a man who is “coding.” The patient is miraculously restored from his emergency state.