Money for Men: How to settle your debts
Kevin Brink
Unfortunately, many of us are faced with a difficult situation at the end of every month. The money in our bank account will not be enough to cover all of our bills. But before you start trying to sell your fillings at your local Cash for Gold, you might want to consider which one of your creditors will be the most forgiving. Here is the order in which you should pay back the various debts that you may owe.
10 Your other brother-in-law who hates guns and weighs 130 pounds
Feel free to completely ignore this debt until you settle all your other accounts. Besides, he probably would forgive your debt if you agree to his proposed fantasy football league trade.
9 Your student loans
These loans usually have a pretty low interest and their website has like seven different locations in which you can easily apply to skip a couple of payments or get them lowered. Yes, you will end up paying more interest the more you pull this maneuver, but if you are really in a bind this is one of the first bills to blow off.
8 Your cable bill
Believe it or not you will not die if you miss a couple of episodes of Jersey Shore. Best of all, the dumbasses at the cable company who constantly screw up your bill are the same ones who will be responsible for cutting your service. Expect to enjoy your cable at least a month after they threaten to shut it off.
7 Electricity/gas bill
Most of these public utilities have some bylaws that force them to act like they really care about your well-being. In fact, many states have laws on their books that forbid companies from turning off your heat in the dead of winter. If you can not make your payment to these utilities, you can usually claim some type of hardship. You will have to fill out a couple of lame forms, but you will buy yourself a little extra time.
6 Your Visa/MasterCard/Amex cards
These credit cards still will suck you dry with their monthly finance charges, but you usually will get much better rates than department store cards.
5 Department store credit cards
When it comes to credit card debt, you should pay the ones that have the highest interest rates. For instance, the interest rate on your GAP card that the underage girl wearing the revealing top convinced you to open has an APR of 24.99%. This is pretty bad considering on one episode of The Sopranos, Tony actually offered someone a loan with a better rate.
4 Car payments
Besides your place of residence, your car is probably the most important thing that you own/lease. Most of us depend on our car as a method to get to and from work. As a result, no car = no job and no job = no way of paying for your rent/mortgage. Then proceed to number #3 on this list and do not pass go.
3 Your rent/mortgage
A landlord can technically start the eviction process immediately after you default one payment. When it comes to a mortgage, although you would have more time before you became homeless, the damage that a couple of late mortgage payments to your credit report could cause permanent damage. And most importantly, you are not likely to score any action with a line like, “Want to go back to the shelter?”
2 Your brother-in-law who has 4 guns and always wears camouflage
If you think you would get a little grace period from this guy since he is family, you would be wrong. Besides, he never really liked you in the first place, so you have just given him the one excuse he needs to terminate your existence.
1 The Russian mafia loan shark that you owe $5 grand
It turns out that betting on the Mets to win the World Series was not the smartest move. Therefore, unless you don’t value the use of your arms and legs, I would strongly advise paying this bill first and attach your check to a bottle of good vodka.
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