Money for Men: 10 habits of perpetually poor men
Kevin Brink
Some guys seem to have all the luck when it comes to money. Perhaps they were born with a prestigious last name such as Trump, Gates, or Buffett. Or maybe they enjoyed a three hour long hot streak at a craps table in Vegas. Unfortunately, for the rest of us, it is up to us to control our own financial destiny. Although it would be nice to have a little karma on your side, it is just as important not to make your own bad fortune by being unable to break the following habits.
10 Smoking
They smoke. Not only are cigarettes expensive, but smokers also spend more money on various breath fresheners and teeth whitening systems that don’t even work.
9 Women
They throw all their money away at women who will never sleep with them. You pretty much need to get your man card taken away if you buy every woman more than two drinks and don’t even get a correct phone number. And if you buy her friend a drink too…
8 Credit Cards
They only pay the minimum payment on their credit card balances. Even after the Credit Card Act of 2009 requires each statement to inform the consumer how long it would take to pay your bill if you only make the minimum payment, you still pay your bills like a complete asshole.
7 Fear
They refuse to cancel their AOL account since they are afraid of the confrontation with the operator. These are the same people who still get CDs in the mail from Columbia House that they did not even order.
6 Kids
They are trying to gain entry in the Antonio Cromartie Jr. Hall of Fame for producing the most children. For those of you that may be interested, to become a member you must be able to prove that you have fathered at least nine children with eight women living in six states.
5 Movies
It takes them 15 minutes to find a DVD that they actually do not own in the $5 bin at Best Buy. Who knew that they actually made a Starship Troopers 2?
4 Meals
They can’t cook. Not only will eating a diet consisting solely of pizza, Chinese, fast food value meals, and Panera drain your bank account, but you can also enjoy looking forward to having a triple bypass at 32. At least you will get a cool scar.
3 Groceries
They buy perishable items in bulk in an attempt to save money. It’s great that you bought 52 boxes of frozen macaroni and cheese at 99 cents each. However, since your freezer only can hold thirty of them, it becomes much less of a bargain.
2 Blind Loyalty
They have never won their fantasy football league since they are too loyal to players from his favorite team. While loyalty is certainly an admiral quality, stupidity is not — unless you work for the Oakland Raiders.
1 Work
They have not learned the most important survival skill in life. Obviously that lesson is that one should only make fun of the boss when he/she is not there and out of earshot.
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