Money for Men: Can I afford to get married?
Kevin Brink
Have you found a woman who will actually watch Star Wars with you more than once? Does your girlfriend know how to yell at an umpire using the proper vulgarity and insults? Does she tolerate your wardrobe consisting of one nice shirt and pair of khakis? If you answered “yes” to the above questions, it just might be time to propose. But can you actually afford to get married with the average wedding costs being over $29,000? Luckily for you, I have some money saving techniques that will help you get to the altar without a mountain of debt.
Use a Dead Relative’s Ring
One day, just like Bin Laden, the ad executive that first suggested that a man spend at least two months salary on an engagement ring will be brought to justice. Until that truly great day, guys are forced to deal with this costly expectation. Before doing anything else, you should check with your family members to see if there is a family heirloom ring that is just waiting to be claimed. Yes, it might be a little creepy to give your fiancée your dead great-grandmother’s engagement ring. However, you will score points for giving her a piece of jewelry with sentimental value. Score bonus points by getting the diamond reset on a more modern piece. You will look classy but still only be out a fraction of the cost of buying a brand new ring.
Take Advantage of Interest Free Financing
If stealing from the dead is not an option, look for a jewelry store that offers 12 or 24 month interest free financing. Using this strategy, you will not have to come up with all the money at once. Also, depending on how long your engagement is, you might even have a second source of income flowing into your bank account to help you with some of the payments.
Exploit the Talents of the People You Know
You know your loser friend that never has any money since he still hasn’t given up on his dream of becoming a rock star? Well it turns out that he finally has a purpose in your life as he can provide free entertainment at your wedding. What about your friend who DJ’s on the side or your sister who took three years of floral design in high school? Yes, even your wacky aunt can actually serve a purpose. Just get her to become an ordained minister online, and you won’t have to pay for an Officiant.
Trim the Fat
Obviously, you are not going to compromise on such important issues like having an open bar, but there are a few things you can do to cut your wedding expenses. To begin with, consider this truth to be self evident: The bigger the bridal party, the more you will spend on flowers. Consequently, try to convince your fiancée that you only have one or two friends that are capable of walking a straight line down the aisle, so she will have to limit the number of bridesmaids. Speaking of flowers, all centerpieces are created equal and look the same to most people. As the result, there is no reason to make the centerpiece on each table look like a mini-jungle. And know this, if it is too big, it simply ends up on the floor as soon as the salad comes. Lastly, remember that you have the unalienable right to not invite those second cousins and great aunts who are unlikely to properly stuff their cards with enough cash.
Two Words — Vegas Baby!
Skip paying for expensive catering halls, over priced photographers, officiant fees, florists, DJ’s, ice sculptures, dove rentals, and renting a cute flower girl. Just elope and get hitched in Vegas! After all, what could be more romantic than getting married in the Chapel of Love?
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