Money for Men: Dumb money moves guys make
Kevin Brink
A wise man once said, “It’s all about the Benjamins” and truer words have rarely been spoken. Although guys typically don’t waste their money buying 14 different bridal magazines and a minimum of eight pairs of shoes each and every shopping trip, we are still guilty of some of the following bonehead financial moves.
Refusing to join your local supermarket loyalty program
I am going to let you all in on a little secret: In 1957, German scientists conducted an experiment in rural North Dakota. After a grueling 17 month study, they proved that putting a supermarket loyalty card on your key chain will actually not make you gay.
Let me put it in a different way — you are a complete idiot if you can’t sacrifice two minutes of your internet porn time to fill out a simple application that could save you hundreds of dollars a year. And if you are really that afraid that your reputation will take a hit by proudly displaying you loyalty card, rest assured that most programs will simply ask you for your phone number as a substitute.
Spending half your paycheck on DVD’s and videogames
Let’s face it, guys like their toys and we will never give them up. But is it really necessary to have the latest version of Call of Duty before your neighbor’s 12 year old son? In addition, ask yourself when was the last time you watched your copies of the unrated versions of Joe Dirt and American Pie 2?
With a little restraint and moderation, you can still have the truly great movies/games that you will actually watch/play more than once. Besides, I asked all three of my Facebook female friends, and all three said they are not impressed with the size of a guy’s DVD collection.
Spending the other half on your car
For a lot of guys, their car is their most priced possession. In fact, they become so obsessed with their car that they spend every waking hour washing, detailing, upgrading and even naming a star after it.
But remember, it’s okay to have a car without a custom made steering wheel, a barefoot shaped gas pedal, or a tinted side view mirror. Rims that spin forward and play the theme song to The A-Team will certainly impress your friends, but when you end up in the welfare line next to Mr. T, you might begin to question your purchases.
Investing in stocks just to brag about having a portfolio
I know a guy who opened up a ShareBuilder account and bought a whopping two shares of Verizon for $35 each. He paid $9.95 for the trade and will eventually have to pay another $9.95 to cash in his stock. As a result, before he can make even a single penny of profit, his Verizon stocks will have to go up 28.43%
If you have no clue what you are doing investing, either stick to your savings account or continue gambling with local middle school students. But remember the golden rule: “Never play cards with a guy who has the same first name as a city!”
Failing to invest in some condoms
Do I really have to explain this one? Have any of the baby daddies on Teen Mom ever looked happy?
Unless you play cornerback for the New York Jets and can convince them to give you a $500,000 advance so that you can support your nine children with eight different women living in six different states, I would spend the ten bucks for a box of condoms.
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