8 romantic comedy leading men who women would never date
Max Steven Miller
Romantic comedies serve as a magical world where unattractive and unemployed men with the most ridiculous of characteristics can end up with the best looking women on the planet. Certain character flaws just don’t seem to matter on the big screen the same way they do in the real world. That’s why if you pluck any of the following characters out of the comfort of their romantic comedies and placed them in the real world, they wouldn’t stand a chance.
8 Ben Stone (Knocked Up)
Gotta give Ben some credit. He played it perfectly. In the real world, his only shot at nailing Katherine Heigl would also be by getting her absolutely wasted. The effects of alcohol don’t last a lifetime though and just because she had a baby with him doesn’t mean she has to stick it out with the loser. Just ask Bristol Palin.
7 Preston Meyers (Can’t Hardly Wait)
Sure, it serves as a cute little concept for a movie, but in real life obsessing over someone for years and then pouncing on them the minute they break up with their long-time boyfriend isn’t endearing or romantic. It’s creepy and frankly, a little shady. “Smother” is only one letter away from “mother”, and you don’t want either one involved when you’re trying to sleep with a girl.
6 Reuben Feffer (Along Came Polly)
It would probably drive women crazy if every time they wanted to do something even somewhat spontaneous, their man had to run over to his computer to assess the risks involved with that spontaneity. “Honey, it’s a beautiful day out… want to go for a bike ride?” “Hmmm… I don’t know. There’s a 23.14% chance that I’ll swallow a wasp due to the high velocity and amount of conversation involved.” Relax, dude. Talk about a buzzkill (Zing!).
5 Melvin Udall (As Good As It Gets)
Personally, I would get a kick out of hanging out with Melvin. His racist, sexist, and prejudice attitude towards anyone and everyone would be like hanging out with a live-action version of the cast of Family Guy. Unfortunately, women don’t seem to find sexism quite as endearing as I do. Plus, the fact that he would have to put on plastic gloves every time he touches their little fluffy dogs would probably really piss them off. Just imagine how he would act if they ever had kids.
4 Jonathan Switcher (Mannequin)
Girls swooned in the 80s when Andrew McCarthy fell in love with a plastic woman that he kept claiming was alive, even though only he could see her. It even made his ex-girlfriend jealous. In real life, your ex-girlfriend would probably love to see you running around town with a giant Barbie doll while you make an absolute fool of yourself. Keep in mind, Ken doesn’t have genitals for a reason.
3 Miles (Sideways)
What woman doesn’t love a balding, out-of work author who steals money from his mother and drowns his sorrows regularly in bottles of Pinot Noir? Swing by any hole-in-the-wall bar on a Tuesday night and you’ll see that the only women loving these guys are the ones with three teeth or less.
2 Robbie Hart (The Wedding Singer)
It’s true that women love men in bands… but not when it’s the band playing at your great Uncle Irwin’s third wedding. The disheveled server carrying the tray of bacon-wrapped scallops has a better shot of landing a woman than the guy who’s singing Gloria Estefan’s “Conga” while dancing with Grandma Gertrude in an oversized straw hat.
1 Josh Baskin (Big)
Women are always complaining about how immature men are. So, why would a successful adult woman fall in love with the most immature of the bunch? In real life, she wouldn’t. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve brought a date home to jump on my giant trampoline (pun not intended, but absolutely necessary) or introduced them to my 13-year-old best friend only to have her reject me. However, here’s a little something you should probably be aware of, ladies: We’re ALL 13 year-old boys trapped in the bodies of grown men. Deal with it.
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