The Pope Lick Monster is a strange beast who has been reported to live in the vicinity of a railway trestle one hundred feet above the Pope Lick Creek in Louisville, Kentucky. Apparently, this creature looks like a human/goat hybrid with a human body, furry goat legs and horns on his head and he/she/it lures its victims to their death either through hypnosis or by mimicking the voices of loved ones late at night, which causes the poor victim to believe that somebody they love is in danger or trapped on the railway trestle. After the victim climbs out on the trestle, he either gets run down by a train or he falls to his death in the creek far below. But that’s all fairly ordinary monster stuff. What makes the Pope Lick Monster different is that it supposedly also carries around a great big bloody axe to chop off its victims heads. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the beast gets impatient. I mean, you try waiting around for some hypnotized fool to fall off a trestle or to get hit by a train. That’s some time consuming villainy right there. The Pope Lick Monster probably has places to be and people to kill and so sometimes he just has to get the ol’ axe out. But the best part about the Pope Lick Monster story is that it is rumored to be the offspring of a horny old farmer and his pet goat. No, really. It would probably piss you off too if you found out that your dad made your mom sleep outside in a pen and eat garbage. After all, it’s not the 1800’s anymore. Women have rights.

The Burrunjor is on this list for one reason and one reason alone: because it looks like a damn T-Rex. Indeed. Apparently, for centuries, the Aborigines of Australia told the tale of a 25 foot tall modern dinosaur that closely resembles the infamous Tyrannosaurus Rex, king of the dinosaurs and also the award winning star of Steven Spielberg’s Jurassic Park (but don’t tell that to the Raptors who supposedly earned a reputation as real divas on the set). But these aren’t just Aboriginal legends. Oh no. Apparently, during the 1950s and ‘60s, the Burrunjor mutilated animals and terrorized Australian farmers, creating a wave of hysteria that included reports of mysterious giant animals roaring in the forests and jungles and farmers running for their lives. I mean, I guess it makes sense. Jurassic Park was set on an island and Australia’s an island with a bunch of other weird beasts found nowhere else in the world so... why not? Oh crap, I probably just gave Paul Hogan an idea for Crocodile Dundee IV. Or maybe I just gave Steven Spielberg the best possible idea for the recently announced Jurassic Park IV. Or maybe, just maybe, I inadvertently created the most amazing crossover flick imaginable. Hold on, I’ll be right back. I just have to give the fine people at SyFy a call and let them know I have their next original movie.

The Aswang are legendary shape-shifters who supposedly make their abode in the Philippines, where they switch back and forth from fairly harmless human forms to terrifying monsters with giant snouts who suck fetuses from the wombs of pregnant mothers. Whoa! I mean, yeah, I have been known to turn into a bit of a monster myself when the sun goes down and I get a few drinks in me, but I tend to draw the line at fetus sucking. Part vampire, part witch, part... whatever, these terrifying creatures supposedly will eat corpses and babies and have even been known to snatch up an adult or two. Flying around late at night, the shape-shifting Aswang descend upon their unsuspecting victims, eat them, and -– here’s where shit gets completely out of hand –- they then fashion a replica of said victim out of a tree trunk and then that replica, uh, comes to life and goes home where it then soon grows sick and dies. I... uh, well... huh. From fetus sucking to carving people out of wood just so they can die, the Aswang have earned their place on this terrifying and f*cked up list.