Textalyzer keeps you from sending those drunk text messages

The advent of text messaging has created problems. Namely that you don’t need the stones to get wasted and actually call someone anymore. You can, quite simply, send a text message when you’re three sheets to the wind. This typically ends in a regrettable fashion.

Thankfully, Textalyzer is here to save the day, by helping you create a “Forbidden List” on your phone, giving you reminders not to send texts to certain people and, best of all, making you complete a series of games before you can text whoever’s on your list.

Got a lady you can’t stop texting for a — are the kids still saying this? — booty call? Don’t sweat it. Unless you’re sober enough to a) remember it, and b) decide whether or not you should actually be contacting her, you probably won’t be able to pass the tests required to hit her up.

Or maybe you’ve got an ex that you can’t stop stalking every time you get drunk. Textalyzer will make sure that you’re keeping it in your pants (metaphorically, natch) instead of blowing her (slangily, natch).

Textalyzer utilizes 4 engaging and challenging games to analyze your state of mind. App users create their Forbidden List and use Textalyzer as a guardian of their texting behavior. If you can succeed in winning the games then you should be clear-headed enough to send out a coherent text. You can also leave reminders to stop yourself from sending out text messages so you won’t regret your actions later.

I’m not entirely sure the reminder “DON’T DO THIS WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK, YOU DRUNK!” is going to work, because there’s a reason why you’re trying to stop yourself from doing something in the first place: you can’t stop yourself from doing that thing.

But the idea of being unable to win the games because someone’s just too hammered is absolutely fantastic, especially when it’s one of your boys who’s splayed out on the couch in a living room and everyone’s laughing at his pathetic attempts to look pathetic.

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