The Every Guy’s Guide: The perfect scotch for Dad
Colin Joliat 
Father’s Day is typically one of the toughest “holidays” for which to shop. As men, it is part of our nature to go out and get whatever we want. While that lack of impulse control drastically improves our everyday lives, it makes gift giving very difficult. How many times have you heard the question, “What do you buy for the man who has everything?” While that question will never be uttered with regards to a woman, it’s far too common amongst men.
While the easy solution is to give nothing, some of us actually want to be able to hit up dad next time we are strapped for cash. Guyism has been running great gift ideas all week, but they are hit or miss depending on the man. The real answer, as it usually is, lies with alcohol. 9 out of 10 men surveyed said they love whiskey, making it the ideal gift.
While I am more of an American whiskey fan myself, I do love a good scotch from time to time. For most people, the term scotch conjures up an image of old men sitting around drinking and talking about how great things were in the old days. If you’ve ever actually listened to those stories, it actually sounded miserable. If I’ve learned one thing though, it’s not to disagree with a back-in-my-day story; even the Little Engine that Could can’t pull off that argument. They say if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, so get the old man an old man bottle of booze, and partake in the fun.
Unlike the Guide to Rye Whiskey, this isn’t trying to introduce you to a new product all together. Most people have had scotch and know what to expect. I put together a wide range of options for you depending on how much you love you dad or how adventurous you want to be. Just remember, almost every gift of booze is followed by a toast, so you know you get to drink some of whichever you choose. By not low-balling your dad, you reap the benefits.
Dewar’s White Label – $27
If you’ve ever asked for scotch at any sort of reception, graduation party, or charity event, odds are they pulled out a bottle of Dewar’s. It’s the best-selling blended scotch in the US, so that shouldn’t come as a surprise. Peatiness (smokiness) is what sets scotch apart from other whiskeys though, and you don’t get much of that from the White Label. It’s mild and easy to drink making it the ideal choice for a dad who doesn’t necessarily like a big smoky whisky. If he doesn’t like smoky though, buying him scotch is essentially like Homer buying Marge a bowling ball. You might as well just engrave your own name on the bottle.
The Black Grouse – $25
This blended scotch is comprised, in part, of Highland Park and Macallan single malts, so it’s no surprise that it’s good. Whereas the Dewar’s is nearly smokeless, the Black Grouse has more than enough to go around. It’s sweet and smooth, and quite frankly, delicious. It’s never overwhelming, due in part to the fact that it’s so well blended that no one particular flavor becomes overbearing, which makes it all together far more enjoyable than many of its blended brethren. This is a great choice for any dad. If he is more of a single malt lover, this still makes for a fun change of pace. Just be sure to let him know that’s why you picked it so you get credit for knowing his preferences.
Glenlivet 12 – $30
“Alright, and now to the important stuff. These ain’t no slashies, folks. These are the pure breeds” When people talk about scotch, they are typically referring to single malt. It’s what you order when you either know what you’re doing or you just want to sound classier than you actually are. Glenlivet 12 is the benchmark for all Speyside whiskies, the region with most distilleries in Scotland, and is the number one selling single malt scotch in the US. It’s light to medium bodied and slightly fruity, making it appealing to almost all tastes. It also lacks the burn that is a turn off to so many casual drinkers. This profile makes it a good option if you don’t know exactly what your dad likes. The downside to its popularity though is that it isn’t a very fun gift to give. This is where the classic vs. adventurous argument comes into play.
Highland Park 12 – $46
This scotch lets you know you are drinking from the second you raise the glass. It’s a more aggressive whisky that’s medium to full-bodied and has the smokiness that so many scotch drinkers crave. The flavor profile changes quite a bit with the addition of a little water. A few drops and the heat starts to take a back seat and the sweetness really comes out. I love a scotch that works perfectly with or without water, so this one is right up my alley. I wouldn’t recommend it for the dad who’s just getting into the game, but if his go-to is a few fingers of scotch, this is a great option. It’s fairly complex, making it enjoyable to drink repeatedly. New flavors seem to pop up each time I try it. It will certainly stand out against many, if not all, of the other 12-years on the shelf.
Macallan 18 – $160
I started out by wanting to describe this as an orgasm in my mouth. Not the kind that your girlfriend refuses, but rather if your mouth could physically have an orgasm, that’s what drinking this would be. The trouble is that the best way to categorize the flavor of the Macallan 18 is big and creamy, taking it more to the original description, which is not what I was going for. Instead, I decided to just explain all of that so I could retain my questionable reference. At the price point though, it should be orgasmic. It has a woody smokiness that is perfectly even throughout. The taste starts out fruity, then dries out midway through, leading to a medium to long, smooth finish. The aroma alone is worth at least a few bucks. I’m honestly like a kid who touched his first boob with this one. If it wasn’t for the laws I would touch them all the time, and if it wasn’t for the price, I would drink this every day. That said, it’s absolutely worth the money and is quite possibly the perfect gift.
Glenfiddich 21 – $149
This may be the most intriguing of the bunch. While most scotch is aged start to finish in used U.S. whiskey casks, this one is finished in Caribbean rum casks. It’s the only whisky that comes to mind using this technique, though admittedly I don’t know that to be the case. It has a sweet toffee flavor, which I imagine comes from the rum casks, that’s very pleasant and creates a great partnership with its subtle smokiness. It’s incredibly smooth from start to finish, making it a solid option for drinkers of all experience levels. Unlike most scotches aged 21+ years, this one doesn’t have the complexity that is just wasted on a novice. If nothing else, it makes for a very interesting gift for an adventurous dad.
You Better Wrap That Gavel Up B
I’ve been known to dabble in all of these, but I admittedly I do have a couple favorites. If you couldn’t guess that the Macallan 18 is one, then you most likely aren’t very good at reading. I’ll send over a copy of Hooked On Phonics right away. Honestly, I would consider bathing in that scotch. After that, I’d probably pick up another bottle of the Black Grouse next. I love having a blended whisky around to shake things up, and this one is just flat out delicious.
The tricky part about scotch is that each region has distinctly different flavors. Combine that with the fact that no two palates are the same, and it becomes very difficult to recommend things. These are some of my favorites, but there are plenty more incredible options out there. Have you tried any of these? Do you have one particular scotch that always draws you back? Let the people know in the comments. We’re all in this Father’s Day shopping quandary together, so help your fellow man out.
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