7 things in pop culture that people lie about most often
Alec Banks
Today’s world doesn’t lend itself to being a pop-culture philistine. Subjects like television, movies, music and literature are ways we interact with one another, serving as subtle conversation starters and stoppers much like the classic “weather” chatter from yesteryear. Truth be told, many of the things we talk about come with a certain “expected” amount of knowledge, to which not being familiar leaves befuddled faces and an “are you serious” line of questioning. So what do the clueless do? They lie. They gather up just enough information to make a quip that gets them off the hook. Here are the 7 things in popular culture that people lie about.
Photo credit: YouTube/RKO Radio Pictures
7 Watching ‘The Wire’
Why you should know it: The Wire is the greatest television show of all-time. That’s not just my opinion, but that of TIME, Entertainment Weekly, the Chicago Tribune, Slate, the San Francisco Chronicle, the Philadelphia Daily News and The Guardian. Hell, even President Obama has said it’s his favorite show. In academia, classes are taught on The Wire at universities like Johns Hopkins, Brown and Harvard. It’s a show that has transcended Home Box Office.
Why you lie about it: If you haven’t seen The Wire, you’re basically admitting that you’re softer than a Kleenex containing newborn baby tears. Also, that you possess some type of hidden guilt when it comes to the less fortunate and seedier elements of the society.
The question: Who is your favorite Wire character?
The lie: I like McNulty. He’s complex.
6 Reading ‘War and Peace’
Why you should know it: War and Peace is highly-regarded as one of the most important literary works of our time, and one of Leo Tolstoy’s absolute best. In 2009, Newsweek placed it in the top spot for their list Top 100 books.
Why you lie about it: War and Peace is 560,000 words, totaling 1,456 pages. Saying that you’ve read that monstrosity automatically qualifies you as an academic. Surely a person wants this distinction because they want to do something naughty with the librarian with the horned rim glasses in the stacks.
The question: Have you read War and Peace?
The lie: Yes. Although one wonders if “War and Peace” would have been as highly acclaimed as it was if it was published under its original name “War — What Is It Good For?”
5 Liking NPR
Why you should know it: Created in 1970 following the passage of the Public Broadcast Law signed into law by President Lyndon Johnson, NPR has most recently been awarded three Peabody awards for their unwavering coverage of Pakistan. Blending hard news with funny and astute criticisms, NPR is smart and informed.
Why you lie about it: NPR is dry. Real dry. Like a grandmother’s nether region. While it is undeniably intelligent chatter, it is hardly enjoyable. The only time I ever get any enjoyment out of it is when I pretend that Terry Gross moonlights as a phone sex operator on the weekend.
The question: What’s your favorite NPR program?
The lie: Fresh Air with Terry Gross. Did you know that she also does a show out of Hoboken called Terry’s Gross Sexual Proclivities?
4 Agreeing ‘Citizen Kane’ is the Greatest Film
Why you should know it: Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane has been named the top film of all time by the American Film Institute on two separate occasions (1998 & 2007) in their “100 Years…100 Movies” list. The Village Voice and Time Out have also agreed with their assessment, placing it in the top spot. Rotten Tomatoes has it listed at 100 percent fresh.
Why you I lie about it: I haven’t seen Citizen Kane, and I absolutely love movies. Indies, period pieces, old ones, you name it, and I’ll watch it. But I just can’t bring myself to sit down and let it “amaze me.” There’s something about watching a film that is arguably considered the “best.” Surely nothing can live up to that kind of hype. Frankly, I’m comfortable enough letting it hold down that top spot without finding out for myself.
The question: Do you think Citizen Kane is the greatest film of all time?
The lie: Um…Yeah.
The question: What was your favorite part?
The lie: Um…Rosebud?
3 Loving ‘The Daily Show’
Why you should know it: The Daily Show is currently the longest running program on Comedy Central and has won 16 Emmy awards. It’s comedic look at the state of the broken two party system and the national media is truly refreshing. 80 percent of the viewers come in the hard to reach 18-35 demographic, making it “cool.”
Why you lie about it: Being in the aforementioned age demographic, and not liking/worshipping Jon Stewart and The Daily Show is as taboo as fornicating with power tools. Literally, you could whack your wiener with a weed whacker and people would look at you stranger if you admitted to never watching The Daily Show.
The question: What do you think about The Daily Show?
The lie: Team Kilborn.
2 Listening to ‘Enter the 36 Chambers’
Why you should know it: Wu-Tang’s Enter the 36 Chambers is arguably the most important album, not hip hop album, of the 1990’s. Rolling Stone ranked it as the 386th greatest album of all-time in their top 500 list. Spin named it the 22nd best album of the entire 1990’s. It is one of only 43 albums to receive a 5-mic rating from Vibe. The name Old Dirty Bastard is one of the only rapper names that even octogenarians could remember.
Why you lie about it: There is nothing cute or bubbly about Enter the 36 Chambers. Listening to the RZA, GZA, Inspectah Deck, Method Man, Ghostface, Ol’ Dirty, Raekwon, Masta Killa and U-God waxing poetic about slangin’ dope and less than savory things doesn’t instantly scream iPod workout music. In today’s hip hop landscape, where white girls who look like coat racks with arms rap, and Lil Wayne wears jeggings, Enter the 36 Chambers can be hard to swallow.
The question: Torture ‘em?
The lie: I’ll sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin’ you and feedin’ you, and feedin’ you and feedin’ you.
1 Enjoying ‘The New Yorker’
Why you should know it: The New Yorker is published 47 times annually, containing biting fiction and non-fiction, humorous cartoons and written by a who’s who of the literary world. With upwards of one million subscribers, The New Yorker has an 85 percent renewal rate, the highest amongst tangible publications.
Why you lie about it: Reading The New Yorker means that you actually pay for hard copies of things. You sit in your delicately decorated home, wearing your mauve button down oxford and wait for the postman to ring twice. It’s not a publication, it’s a lifestyle. It tells a woman that you’re successful, and that you might be kinky enough to have sex with her while wearing a cummerbund.
The question: New Yorker or McSweeney’s?
The lie: Neither. I’m actually from Chicago.
comment on this story
blog comments powered by Disqus