White iPhone 4 on sale Thursday, Apple says

The mysterious “White iPhone” is a hard-to-track, difficult-to-kill piece of prey. Until Thursday, as Apple announced today that it will offer up the white iPhone to the public beginning tomorrow.

I mean, FINALLY, right??? Because, really, who hasn’t forgotten to sleep the last few weeks hoping they would do this?

“The white iPhone 4 has finally arrived and it’s beautiful,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. “We appreciate everyone who has waited patiently while we’ve worked to get every detail right.”

Like, you know, changing the color of the shell. (Also, doesn’t Schiller kind of sound like Teri Hatcher on Seinfeld there? “It’s finally arrived … and it’s beautiful.“)

For those that care, you can purchase the white iPhone at either Apple’s website, Verizon stores or AT&T stores.

But, if you’ll permit me to rant for a minute (and you will, muhaha), please don’t buy this thing. Why? It’s just an iPhone, except it’s white.

The reason why the “white iPhone” has always been whispered about fondly by Apple junkies like it’s some sort of Holy Grail is that it wasn’t for sale. You couldn’t have one, so everyone wanted one.

Now, everyone can have one. And it’s not like this version of the iPhone downloads movies faster or actually has good service or will have a battery that actually lasts. (Yes, I’m currently upset with my phone, why do you ask?)

IT’S JUST AN IPHONE.

And now it’s an iPhone that everyone and their brother will be able to get, which means that if you’re not currently eligible for an upgrade and you go out and buy one of these — instead of just buying a white iPhone case — you are a total douchebag. And should probably be mocked on South Park.

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