Will funny hats and a 2 Girls, 1 Cup reference make you like Duke Nukem again?

The first round of DLC for gaming’s biggest train wreck has just been announced. Which to be honest doesn’t sound half bad, but considering how bad the game turned out, it’s hard to get all that excited.

Also not helping is how multiplayer was an unbalanced mess, though perhaps that might be fixed? Highly doubtful, but anyway….

The “Hail to the Icons Parody Pack” contains three new modes: Freeze Tag which has you, as the name implies, freezing and then shattering your opponent. I can just imagine Duke saying lines from Mortal Kombat… poory. The second is Hot Potato. which asks “who can hold on to the babe the longest” (I could have sworn that this was already in the game), and the third is Hail to the King, which is only described as some free-for-all mode. Again, there isn’t a mode that’s already called that?

Next are some new maps, some of which sounds actually interesting? You’ve got Call of Duke, which puts players in the middle of some battle worn metropolis. That’s not one of the interesting ones btw, and I have to wonder what the hell is meant when the official PR blasts says “Foes don’t stand a chance against the Duke when he spams the map with the N00b T00b.” Sandbox on the other hand has everyone playing as the teeny-tiny version of Duke, and with all interactive environments being kids toys. Duke all shrunk down was one of the brighter moments of the game, so color me somewhat interested.

2Forts1Bridge has Duke running around in wacky hats, an obvious nod to Team Fortress 2 and the new way old internet joke… what, no Snakes On A Plane gags Duke? Though the final mode, Inferno, sounds the most interesting due to how everything will (supposedly) look 16-bit.

No official price or release date has been announced, though folks foolish enough to be part of the First Access Club (seriously, my condolences) will nab it for free, which is expected to arrive sometimes in the fall. And those who are in the area can be the very first to play it next week at 2K HQ. Details can be found here. For everyone else, book your flights now!