10 Halloween costumes for the Jets’ Rex Ryan
Matt Lo Cascio
We all know how hard it is to come up with a solid Halloween costume. But imagine if you were an NFL coach right in the middle of your busy season. I know, right? If you watched HBO’s Hard Knocks you know that Rex Ryan doesn’t have much time for anything except football, and maybe handfuls of M & Ms. So we took the time to pick out 10 Halloween costumes that are perfectly suited for him.
10 Peter Griffin
This one is easy to envision, especially with this cartoon we found on the interwebs. The only thing that might stop Rex from picking Peter Griffin? Peter Griffin used to play for the Patriots. Shipoopi! Shipoopi!!
9 Big Balls from Wipeout
Chalk this one up under time savers. Really, all Rex needs to do here is get a red sheet and cut a hole in it for the head.
8 Mark Mangino
Rex already rocks the sweater vest look, so he just needs to find a one with the KU logo. Then grow a stache and get one of those bald head masks, cut out some holes for side hair. Both of them like to use colorful language. The only difference is that for Rex it made him a beloved TV figure. It got Mangino canned from his gig.
7 Sergeant Jay Landsman, The Wire
If you haven’t watched The Wire, most normal Americans probably don’t even want to talk to you. But for the uninformed, not only do Rex and the Sarge share the same physique, they also enjoy the liberal usage of salty language.
6 Shrek
Shrek’s not the hottest pop culture icon right now, but Rex could easily pull this off with some green make-up and a vest. Maybe bush up those eyebrows a tad.
5 Patrick from SpongeBob
Keeping with the cartoon theme, Rex would make a fantastic Patrick from SpongeBob. They seem to have the same happy-go-lucky disposition and hearty belly laughs.
4 Kirstie Alley
Maybe a bit of a stretch here, but if Rex is feeling a little frisky, he can don a wig and a dress and tote around a bag full of fast food. And voila! Kirstie Alley.
3 Butterbean
Butterbean is a professional boxer and sort of mixed martial artist. Rex could shave his dome, throw on the USA trunks and some boxing gloves and he’d make a perfect Butterbean. The prospect of seeing him with his shirt off could make this also double as a scary costume.
2 Jonah Hill
I get the feeling that come 20 years or so, Jonah Hill will look a lot like the current version of Rex Ryan. Plus, Rex Ryan is the Jonah Hill of NFL coaches. Pretty much everything out of his mouth is a cuss word.
1 Lots-O from Toy Story 3
Saving the best for last. Rex would make a fantastic Lots-O. That both have that cheery disposition that can go south in a hurry if you make him angry.
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