10 valuable life lessons we have learned from sports figures

A. Isaac Senior Editor

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GMO66, Flickr

Over the years, athletes have provided many of us fans with hours of entertainment. As role models, they’ve also provided us with life lessons that we can use in our everyday lives. How to spend our money, how to deal with our bosses, etc…

So here are just some of the many valuable life lessons our favorite athletes have given to us.

Photo credit: GMO66, Flickr

10 Having a “case of the Mondays” is ok
If there’s one thing Latrell Sprewell had in common with the everyday man, it’s that even he was entitled to a bad day at the office–perhaps even a “case of the Mondays”. When Sprewell choked Warriors head coach P.J. Carlesimo in 1997, it was as if he was channeling everyone’s anger towards their over-bearing boss. Did he go too far? Eh, that’s debatable. But in the end, the knock on his resume didn’t hinder him too much. He played until 2005 and was able to feed his family without too much trouble.

9 Practice does not make perfect

For years, our parents taught us some basic principles in life. Work hard, focus on the task at hand and good things will happen to you. In the span of a two-minute press conference, Allen Iverson took that theory and flushed it down the toilet. There’s no need for practice, because frankly, you can still make millions by just sitting on your ass while your boss draws up plays and tells you to hustle. Practice, we talkin’ about practice? Nah, big waste of time. I’ll wait for the big stage before I shine.

8 Contraception is optional
Condoms? Diaphragms? Birth control pills? How dare you make that suggestion sir! This isn’t China, there is no one baby law here in the states. The goal of sex is to reproduce, and for some like Antonio Cromartie and Travis Henry, reproduce at an alarming rate. What better way to put your stamp on the rest of mankind than to have as many of your offspring running around.

7 Guns don’t hurt people, people hurt people
Long before NFL wide receiver Plaxico Burress was spending the better part of his prime in an 8 x 12 jail cell, he proved to people, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that guns aren’t responsible for injuries and death—people are. After taking a loaded gun into a club, Plax accidentally shot himself in the thigh. He was punished as much for his stupidity as he was for breaking New York’s gun laws. Moreover, he quickly became the unofficial spokesman of the NRA.

6 Premarital sex is not all it’s cracked up to be
Loss of scholarship…check. Inability to play in the greatest tournament in the world and help your team win it all…check. Dropping out of school to aid your pregnant girlfriend…check. If Brandon Davies of BYU could do it all over again, what do you think he’d do right at that moment he decided to break the honor code? Morality aside here people, every parent who was sending their kid off to college had the biggest “I told you so” moment when they read that story.

5 Remember that credit is money
If only a guy like Dez Bryant would have paid more attention in finance at Oklahoma State, we wouldn’t be having this discussion. This famous Benjamin Franklin quote has as much application today as it did in the late 1700′s. Just because you have an American Express Black Card doesn’t mean that the things you purchase are free. How on earth does one even fathom putting $850k on credit Dez? How? All for some jewelry and tickets? But don’t worry, you’re not alone. Guys like Antoine Walker, Mike Tyson, and Evander Holyfield paved the way for you.

4 A picture is not always worth a thousand words
We all try to capture that one moment in our lives, that one snapshot we can look at when we’re old and say, “wow, that picture is worth a thousand words”. Unfortunately, with the popularity of the cell phone camera, those pics for many athletes have become forgettable. For some, like future hall-of-famer Brett Favre, sending a rather lewd picture of his small genitalia was not only embarrassing for him and his family but probably cost him thousands in legal fees.

3 There’s no such thing as too much money
Why should they be millionaires, when they could be billionaires? And at the cost of what? A few fans, some players who need the job to put food on the table, the concession workers at the stadium? Nope, who cares about them. The NFL Labor dispute isn’t about 18-game schedules and it’s certainly not about player safety. It’s about making as much damn money as is humanely possible while you’re on this earth. That way, you can jump into a high enough tax bracket so you can pay an accountant to skirt the IRS for the rest of eternity.

2 “Man” and “Dog” are not always best friends
Perhaps this is a bit harsh, and perhaps this one stings a little for animal lovers out there. But if we could speak directly to our furry little friends, we’d simply tell them this: Dog may be a man’s best friend but it certainly isn’t always the case the other way around. On the outside, Vick looked like he cared for his pups, even had a kennel of them at his home in Virginia. He traveled with them, brought them to practices and games, showed them off to his teammates and friends. But behind the scenes, well, we don’t need to tell you the whole story.

1 Don’t lie to the U.S. Goverment…EVER…ABOUT ANYTHING
When you’re little you’re told that lies hurt people. It hurts your parents, your siblings, and your friends. The more lies you tell, even if they’re little white lies, can have the most serious of consequences–especially when it’s to the U.S. government. Just ask Barry Bonds. A full seven years after Bonds told a fib to a grand jury, he’s just now being tried for it. Seven years folks? Barry Bonds has legitimately not been in the public eye for almost a decade and yet, the government is coming after him with everything they have. And because of what–some drugs? No sir, have all the drugs you want mr. dealer, just don’t you dare lie to us.